Rosie and Kelli Working on Their Issues; So Is the Media

Two of the most famous lesbian-mom spouses in the world are having trouble. Rosie O’Donnell told USA Today that all is not well between herself and spouse Kelli Carpenter O’Donnell, but would not confirm if Kelli had moved out, as some sources are reporting. Here’s the interesting thing about how the story is being reported, though. See if you can figure it out before the end of the post: Read the rest of this post »

LGBT Parenting Roundup

I’m breaking away from the bullet points for this roundup, and going for the “connected by vague trains of thought” approach. [Updated 8:30 p.m. Added an article by Jessica Cerretani that I'd missed earlier because the Boston Globe screwed up our delivery last Sunday.]

Let’s start with the best news: U.S. Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) introduced the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, “which would restrict federal funds for states that discriminate in adoption or foster programs on the basis of marital status, sexual orientation or gender identity.” This would most impact the states with laws against adoption by lesbian and gay people (or “unmarried” people): Utah, Florida, Arkansas, Nebraska and Mississippi. Nancy Polikoff notes the all-important enforcement part of the bill, whereby an individual claiming discrimination could file an action seeking relief in federal court. The bill has no co-sponsors yet.

Polikoff also points out the intriguingly named “Queer Kids of Queer Parents Against Gay Marriage!” Blog authors Jane Kaufman and Katie Miles say: Read the rest of this post »

Heather Has a New Edition

Heather Has Two Mommies, the classic picture book about a girl with lesbian moms, is now out in a new 20th anniversary edition. Author Lesléa Newman has a piece in this week’s Publisher’s Weekly, in which she discusses the origins of the book and reactions both positive and negative.

I have to admit, though, that Heather is not my favorite LGBT-inclusive kids’ book. I tend to favor ones that don’t focus on the “issue” of having LGBT parents. Newman herself has taken a less issue-driven approach in her two latest books, Mommy, Mama, and Me and Daddy, Papa, and Me. When I interviewed her about them in July, she explained that this was a deliberate move.

Still, even if Heather isn’t the first book I would recommend for children of same-sex parents, I think it still holds up pretty well after 20 years, and addresses issues of classroom teasing that still, unfortunately, linger. And, as Newman wrote in Publisher’s Weekly:

Though the 20-year anniversary edition of Heather Has Two Mommies has a new look—its black-and-white illustrations are now in full color—the book’s message has not changed: “The most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other.” After 20 years, I am still waiting for someone to tell me what in the world is so controversial about that.

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through  them.

Three Stories of Hope

Three stories too good to wait for another full roundup:

Inspiration

Two gay dads whose son is a ballet dancer? It sounds like an uninformed cliché, but Ontario dad Rob Gibson says of 11-year-old James, “We didn’t even push him in dance.” Apparently, teachers and family friends noticed the boy’s sense of rhythm, and encouraged him to try lessons. After just two years of training, James is performing with the National Ballet of Canada this fall. The Toronto Star has a great profile of the family.

The article cites a social worker, Meg Gibson, who notes that children of gay and lesbian parents are no more likely than those of straight parents to be gay themselves [and no less --Ed.], and adds, perceptively:

There is also some evidence that [lesbian and gay parents] may be less strict in their interpretation of sexuality and gender than kids from strictly heterosexual backgrounds. So that might mean that a kid has a chance to explore a talent that may, in another context, have been squashed … If you have a family – whether that family is gay, heterosexual or a mix of the two – that says follow your own interests, follow your own talents regardless of what everybody says you should be doing, that’s phenomenal. And that may be more likely in a family where people have already had to deal with those stereotypes and question them and challenge them. Read the rest of this post »

Maine Bigots Look Set to Misuse Family Diversity Film

The ultra-conservatives trying to revoke marriage equality in Maine look set to use the excellent LGBT-inclusive diversity-education film That’s a Family!, by Academy Award-winning filmmaker (and lesbian mom!) Debra Chasnoff for their own bigoted purposes, Frank Hogarth of San Francisco’s Beyond Chron reports. (Jeremy of Good As You independently confirmed a payment to Chasnoff’s Groundspark organization in Stand for Marriage Maine’s campaign filings, and that led him, and thus me, to Hogarth’s piece.)

The film shows not only families with lesbian and gay parents, but also interracial families, adoptive families, and others of various types. Its message is one of inclusion across the board. It’s pretty obvious, however, that SFMM will use the film to try and demonstrate all the horrible things our kids will supposedly learn if marriage equality continues in Maine. That’s a Family caused a ruckus two years ago in Evesham, New Jersey when the school board voted to remove it from its elementary health curriculum. Expect extracts from that debate to surface again.

Worth a read, to cheer you up, is Hogarth’s earlier piece on how Protect Maine Equality has more effectively addressed the right’s “OMG, gay marriage will be taught in schools!” hysteria than did No On Prop 8. “Same-sex couples will not stop having families if Question 1 passes, and schools will still have to teach kids the reality that not all families fit the image of a heterosexual couple with biological children,” he writes, much the same point I made in my own article on the subject. Editorials from yesterday’s Maine Sunday Telegram and Saturday’s Bangor Daily News take similar stances. Clearly we’re on to something here (and I make no claim to be the originator of these arguments).

For more on Groundspark, see my interview of Chasnoff about her latest film, Straightlaced, and an earlier one about the 10th anniversary of her It’s Elementary. You can also view trailers for all of the films at the YouTube channel of film distributor New Day Films. Each film targets a different age range, and deals as appropriate with issues such as family diversity, bullying, name-calling, and gender stereotypes. (I recapped all of them in my post on New Resources for LGBT Families.)

As it happens, Chasnoff will be honored by the New Directions in Documentary Film festival being held this week at Wellesley College, her alma mater and mine. Chasnoff is no newbie filmmaker working in her garage, but rather an Academy Award-winner with a strong following. I think that if SFMM misuses her work, it will be to their own detriment.

After the jump, a clip from That’s a Family: Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

U.S. National News

• The White House has issued a statement of President Barack Obama’s position on marriage equality referenda in Maine and Washington.
• The Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act, which would extend benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, flew through its Senate hearing.The similar bill House bill has already passed out of committee. It is unclear if the full House will vote on it before the end of year.
• The White House nominated retired Marine General Clifford Stanley as Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, aka, the position that historically provides oversight of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, in an e-mail to supporters, said this is one of the “indications of seriousness of purpose on DADT repeal.”
• Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) issued a statement of core principles for comprehensive immigration reform legislation, including a belief in family “as a cornerstone of our immigration system.” Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), who introduced the Uniting American Families Act to allow people to sponsor a same-sex partner for immigration, has been talking to Gutierrez about LGBT inclusion in immigration reform. Read the rest of this post »

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Just Awesome

• The Harry Potter Alliance, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit “dedicated to bringing the themes of Harry Potter into the real world” announced a grassroots effort to help defeat Ref. 1 and support marriage equality in Maine. As Jeremy at Good As You said, Dumbledore would be proud.

Youth and Schools

• Fifty-three Republicans have signed a letter calling on President Obama to fire Kevin Jennings, the Assistant Deputy Secretary for the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools at the Department of Education. Jennings is under fire for an incident that happened over 20 years ago in Massachusetts, when he advised a student to use a condom when the teen said he was sleeping with an older man. The right is framing it as unreported child abuse, and claiming the teen was only 15, although Media Matters has posted an image of the student’s current driver’s license, showing he was 16 at the time, over the age of consent in the state.
• Rev. Irene Monroe wonders why the National Equality March did not have more support from the Black Church. “More than 42 percent of the country’s homeless youth identify as LGBT,” she says, “and approximately 90 percent of that group are of color. . . . Before another one of our children is put on the streets because she or he is lesbian or gay, I ask the faithful in our community to reevaluate the harm we create by interpreting biblical passages with prejudice. We would not be here, today if our forbearers did not make the same choice, and our children deserve the same show of strength and love.”
• A Mississippi school is under pressure from the ACLU after they said a photo of 17-year-old Ceara Sturgis wearing a tux could not appear in the yearbook. Sturgis is a lesbian who prefers to wear masculine clothing. Kudos to her mother, Veronica Rodriguez, who told reporters, “She’s not a troublemaker. She is gay. She wants to wear the tuxedo because that’s who she is. She’s not ashamed of that.”
• Edward Byrne has a great piece about traveling to the National Equality March with a group of high-school students from Massachusetts. Read the rest of this post »

“I Think Those Children Suffer”

Appalling. Ignorant and appalling.

Keith Bardwell, a Louisiana justice of the peace, has refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple, citing concerns about the effect on any children. The AP, via NPR, reports:

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

Clearly he is forgetting that the child of such a marriage is now President of the United States.

At the same time, I wonder if the LGBT community, of all ethnicities, will be able to use what will certainly be furor over this incident to make the additional point that people  should be similarly appalled when others cite concerns about children as a reason to block marriage for same-sex couples.

It is the love of the parents, not their color or their gender, that makes a family. Maybe someday we as a country will get that right.