LGBT Parenting Roundup

Politics and Law

• The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled to preserve an adoption by the state’s only openly gay or lesbian legislator. Sen. Julia Boseman’s (D-New Hanover) former partner, Melissa Jarrell, the biological mother, was trying to deny Boseman’s parental rights, although a separate court had earlier approved the couple’s request for Boseman’s second-parent adoption. Nancy Polikoff has the nitty-gritty legal details.
• New Zealand’s Acting Principal Family Court judge, Paul von Dadelszen, has stated he wants to allow same-sex couples to have the same adoption rights as opposite-sex ones. A Catholic group has objected, trotting out the tired old argument that children need one parent of each gender.
• Next door, in Australia, Queensland Premier Anna Bligh says there is almost no chance that same-sex couples will be allowed to adopt in the near future, even though de facto opposite-sex couples can. Queensland Council for Civil Liberties (QCCL) president Michael Cope has said the government’s stance is “confused and confusing.”

Schools and Youth

• Just when you thought the whole uproar about an LGBT-inclusive safe-schools curriculum in Alameda, California was settled, a group of parents has filed a lawsuit over the district’s refusal to excuse their children from attending the classes. The parents are supported by the conservative Pacific Justice Institute. Read the rest of this post »

Back-to-School Time: Questions and Answers

It’s back-to-school time for many of our children. For those of you, like me, prepping our kids and ourselves for the transition:

What are you looking forward to about having your kids in school? What are you dreading (or at least not looking forward to)?

If your kids are not yet in school, or you have questions for other parents about anything school related:

What might others here offer opinions and advice about?

If your kids have graduated from all their formal education:

Ensure us we and they can survive it.

LGBT Diversity Film Trailers Now Available

I’ve written many times before about the excellence of the LGBT-inclusive diversity-education films by Groundspark, the organization headed by Academy Award-winning filmmaker Debra Chasnoff. (Here’s my interview of Chasnoff about her latest film, Straightlaced, and an earlier one about the 10th anniversary of It’s Elementary.)

Now comes the happy news that trailers for all of the films are up at the YouTube channel of film distributor New Day Films. Watch clips of Straightlaced, That’s a Family, Let’s Get Real, It’s Elementary (and the expanded It’s STILL Elementary). Each film targets a different age range (It’s Elementary is for educators and parents), and deals as appropriate with issues such as family diversity, bullying, name-calling, and gender stereotypes. (I recapped all of them in my recent post on New Resources for LGBT Families.)

For those of you who have pre-ordered a copy of Straightlaced, other good news is that it is now ready on DVD and should be shipped any day now. If you would like to order it, or any of the other films, you may do so via the Groundspark Store.

As always, you can visit the the Mombian YouTube channel to find lots of videos with positive images of LGBT families.

After the jump, the clip from That’s a Family, which caused a ruckus two years ago in Evesham, New Jersey when the school board voted to remove it from its elementary health curriculum. Read the rest of this post »

DOJ DOMA Case Filing Says Government Doesn’t Care If Parents Are Biological

The Department of Justice today filed its reply brief in Smelt v. United States, one of the legal challenges to the Defense of Marriage Act. Things look cautiously promising:

With respect to the merits, this Administration does not support DOMA as a matter of policy, believes that it is discriminatory, and supports its repeal. Consistent with the rule of law, however, the Department of Justice has long followed the practice of defending federal statutes as long as reasonable arguments can be made in support of their constitutionality, even if the Department disagrees with a particular statute as a policy matter, as it does here.

More of interest for same-sex parents, however, is the passage from the DOJ that reads (my emphasis):

Unlike the intervenors here, the government does not contend that there are legitimate government interests in “creating a legal structure that promotes the raising of children by both of their biological parents” or that the government’s interest in “responsible procreation” justifies Congress’s decision to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman (Doc. 42 at 8-9). Read the rest of this post »

Raising a Girl Geek

Here’s a little something different to read this morning: Wired’s Natania Barron recently offered “5 Tips for Raising Your Girl Geek,” advice for parents of girls who fall into that hard-to-define category with which many of us (me included) identify: being a geek. Yes, boys can be geeks, too, but that’s more common. Girl geeks are a rarer breed.

I liked the post for what it says about raising girls to be proud of being smart, of taking an interest in topics not traditionally seen as “girls’” subjects, and about nurturing their own special flavor of geekiness. I also think there are parallels with the issues faced by geek girls and those that many LGBTQ youth face, geeks or not. Barron writes: Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

• Former President Bill Clinton spoke at the progressive conference Netroots Nation. Blogger Lane Hudson confronted him on DADT and DOMA. Hudson explains why.
• The Anchorage Assembly approved an ordinance that bans discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, credit, public accommodations, and housing. It includes exemptions for churches and other religious organizations.
• Equality California officials recommended waiting until 2012 to go back to the ballot to repeal Proposition 8. Read the rest of this post »

Huge Win for De Facto Parents in Delaware

Washington, D.C. isn’t the only part of the Mid-Atlantic region to pass groundbreaking parentage legislation of late. The Delaware legislature recently passed a statute creating de facto parent status when the de facto parent:

• Has had the support and consent of the child’s parent or parents who fostered the formation and establishment of a parent-like relationship between the child and the de facto parent;
• Has exercised parental responsibility for the child as that term is defined in § 1101 of this title; and
• Has acted in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to have established a bonded and dependent relationship with the child that is parental in nature.

“Hey, that sounds like me,” some of you non-bio moms might exclaim. Exactly. The ever-insightful Nancy Polikoff tells us why this is such a big deal:

Legal parentage has nothing to do with recognizing the couple’s relationship to each other, so parentage created this way is not vulnerable to a DOMA challenge. It is full parental status, so that means everything — not just the custody/visitation/support rights and responsibilites that some courts have extended to a nonbio (or non-adoptive) mom. For example, it means entitlement to government benefits as the child of both parents and the right to inherit from and through both parents. Also, most states have not given EQUAL custody rights to a nonbio mom, and this statute makes clear they are equal.

You should pop over to Nancy’s blog to read more, including a couple of caveats she notes. Kudos to the legislature for remembering the best interests of the children.

When Did You Know You Wanted Kids?

No vlog this week, I’m afraid. Busy with extended family matters. Instead, I’ll ask you all a question:

When did you first know you wanted kids?

I was late to the game. In my mid-30′s, after having a stable job and a house for a couple of years, I began thinking about it. I knew Helen wanted children; I was a bit overwhelmed by the concept. It was the tragedy of 9/11, however, which made me realize that carpe diem was a very good philosophy indeed—and if nothing else, we weren’t getting any younger. (Here’s my post with more detail about my experience that day.)

What about you?