Having one partner who is pregnant can be tough. Two partners who are pregnant at the same time could be even more daunting (though there is always the possibility of sharing maternity wear).
Erin Renzas of Cookie Magazine has taken a look at lesbian partners who have been pregnant at the same time, however. She rightly quotes Terry Boggis, director of family programs at New York City’s LGBT Center, who says this method is “definitely an exception, rather than a rule,” but her article is still an interesting look at one thing lesbian couples can do that other couples can’t—even if we don’t choose to do so very often.
I’ve covered a few such stories myself from time to time, most notably that of celebrity chef Cat Cora and her partner Jennifer. I also reviewed Discovery Health’s “Quads with Two Moms,” which profiled a lesbian couple who each gave birth to twins within a day of each other. (The show will reair July 16.)
Renzas also mentions the slightly more common method of one partner carrying the egg of the other, without both trying to get pregnant. This is in fact the same approach Helen and I used. (Here are the details on how we did so, in case you’re interested.)
There is always the risk of sensationalism when covering such rare ways of creating our families, but Renzas does a good job of avoiding it and giving readers a sense of the emotional and practical sides of lesbian couples trying to get pregnant.
My only quibble is that when she mentions the Massachusetts couple who used one partner’s egg that the other carried, it sounds as if that is the only method whereby both parents can go on the birth certificate. It’s not. In Massachusetts (and a few other states), both moms can go on the birth certificate even if one is biologically unrelated to the child. (Non-bio moms should still consider doing a second-parent adoption, however, as I’ve mentioned ad infinitum, so their parentage is more likely to be recognized in other states.)
Worth a read if only because it’s a nice mainstream article that avoids politics and simply focuses on the ups and downs of starting a family. (Not that there’s anything wrong with politics—I write about it enough myself—but for the vast majority of us, starting a family is less a political statement and more of a personal desire. It’s society that applies the political connotations. Refreshing to see a piece that gets back to the real heart of the matter.)