LGBT Parenting Roundup

News about kids, parenting and schools for this week:

• Not specifically LGBT, but still relevant: Senator Frank R. Lautenberg (D-NJ) and Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-CA) reintroduced the Responsible Education about Life (REAL) Act legislation, to authorize federal funding for comprehensive and medically accurate sex education.
• Transgender youth face even higher levels of victimization in school than their non-transgender lesbian, gay and bisexual peers, but are also more likely to speak out about LGBT issues in the classroom, according to the first comprehensive study on transgender students, released this week by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).
• A judge ruled that a legal challenge to an Arkansas law banning unmarried couples from adopting or fostering children can move to trial.
• The ACLU has filed a suit against Corona del Mar High School in California, accusing officials of fostering a homophobic and sexist environment. They are also backing a Peoria, Arizona teen who says he was ordered by a principal to turn his rainbow wristband that says “Rainbows are gay” inside-out or stop wearing it to school.
• The Tampa Tribune, via MSNBC, reports on the struggle to allow gay men and lesbians to adopt in Florida.
• The lesbian Indiana high student who wanted to wear a tux to her prom will be allowed to do so, after the School Board reverse its policies. She had filed a lawsuit last week.
• A federal judge gave Louisiana 15 days to add the names of two out-of-state fathers to the birth certificate of the Shreveport-born son they adopted. The state is appealing.
• After school officials in Grandfield, Oklahoma told teacher Debra Taylor to stop production of her class’ short video performance of the play “The Laramie Project,” based on the murder of Matthew Shepard, Taylor resigned. Local religious leaders said they alerted the school about concerns they had with obscenity in the script, not its gay content. (Yeah, right.)
• An editorial in The Tennessean argues against the state’s proposed ban on adoption by unmarried people. It notes that the bills may cost the state an additional $8.2 million in state and federal funds.
• The Tennessee House of Representatives K-12 Subcommittee put off voting on a bill that would bar elementary schools from “any instruction or materials discussing sexual orientation other than heterosexuality.”
• A Croatian MP has spoken out against a novel by Zoran Krusvar, “Zvjeri Pisane” (Stuffed Monsters), which “informs children about same-sex parents.” (Anyone know anything more about this book?)
• Denmark will now allow same-sex couples to adopt jointly, meaning our family can continue to accumulate Legos in good conscience.
• Israel’s National Insurance Institute authorized the country’s first-ever maternity leave for a gay male couple. (Which just points out the silliness of having gendered titles for these things.)
• A married lesbian couple in South Africa has bee battling the Home Affairs office for 19 months to include both their names as parents on the birth certificate of the son they planned together. Married! Legally! In South Africa! What’s the problem?

Kiddie Consumers

Thanks to Nina at Queercents for pointing out an article from Best Life magazine about kids and consumerism, subtitled: “How to thwart the $17 billion marketing effort to steal your kids’ dreams, hijack their imaginations, make them obese, and drive a wedge into their relationship with you.”

Yikes. It’s enough to make one move to a cabin in the woods and subsist on berries while your kids play games with rocks and sticks.

Nina, the mother of a three-month-old, says, “I’m already wondering how we stop all the stuff from taking over,” and observes, “It is shocking how much stuff a baby can acquire in a mere 90 days – of course, it’s the result of well-meaning friends and family members.”

I don’t want to break it to her that it only gets worse. Read the rest of this post »

Where Do You Socialize with LGBT Families?

Let’s do another poll and explore how we build community and friendship:

An Ally’s Response

After I published my story on the 20th anniversary of the Gay-Straight Alliance at Phillips Academy Andover, I received this letter from alumna and writer Robin Chotzinoff, who now lives in Texas. She shares not only her reaction to how times have changed, but also what her 11-year-old daughter is doing to support LGBT rights. She’s given me permission to repost it. (Robin also blogs about gardening at People with Dirty Hands and about writing at Letters to My Agent.)

It’s heartening to me to find such allies, especially of the younger generation. As I said in my article, I think the future is in good hands.

I read your story with great interest and optimism. In 1973, when I entered Andover in the first class of females, there was no such thing as a gay prep-school student, either male or female. At least, not until I got a few years older and realized there are gay students everywhere, always had been, always will be. I remember a wonderful story in the Andover Bulletin at least ten years ago, by K. Kelly Wise, simply called Gay At Andover, in which he interviewed alumni who were old even then, as well as openly gay. As a writer, I was fascinated by the truth and the history. I was also proud of Andover for acknowledging its gay history, even if it took several hundred years to get around to it. I’m also impressed that your student group was the second oldest in the country. [Not really "my" group; just one I covered for the article. —Dana] Read the rest of this post »

Lambda Award Finalists: Children’s/Young Adult

The 21st Lambda Literary Award finalists were announced this week. The six finalists for the LGBT Children’s/Young Adult category are fine books all, although I’m a little disappointed none of them show LGBT parents—as important as it also is to show LGBT kids. Actually, Hit the Road, Manny, is about a gay male nanny, so I’ll give half credit for that.

With only two LGBT-related books published this year for younger children, I’m not surprised that all of the Children’s/Young Adult finalists are for young adults. Marcus Ewert’s picture book about a transgender boy 10,000 Dresses (review and author interview here) is, however, a finalist in the Transgender category. I wish they’d found room for Sarah Brannen’s Uncle Bobby’s Wedding (review and author interview here), not only because it was the only book published last year for the younger age that features LGBT parents, but because I think it holds its own in terms of art and story.

For a more extensive (yet still selective) list of recent LGBT-related children’s and YA titles, see the American Library Association’s 2009 Rainbow List (and my interview with the chair of the Rainbow List committee).

I suppose it’s a good problem to have, though, when there are more books to choose from than there are finalist spots. Winners will be announced Thursday, May 28, at a ceremony in New York.

Full list of Children’s/Young Adult finalists after the jump: Read the rest of this post »

Family Voices International V

Here is the fifth interview in this phase of the Family Voices series. This time around, I am teaming up with Julieta of Ju, An y el Perro Activista to extend the series to include non-U.S. LGBT families. Julieta has also done Spanish translations of all the interviews, which you will find after the English below, and at her blog. (This week, she provided an English translation of the original Spanish.)

The dads in this story have asked to remain anonymous, but they live in Spain with Roi, their 15-year-old son, who is also the biological nephew of one of them. They fostered him and then adopted him when they were legally able. Roi blogs at Rincón Atlántico, and offered to be interviewed for this series as well. We’ll post his interview next week. Read the rest of this post »

Phillips Academy GSA: 20 Years of Friendship and Activism

(Originally published in Bay Windows, February 26, 2009. I did this piece to cover a local event, but I thought it might be of wider interest. Phillips Academy Andover has the second-oldest gay-straight alliance in the country—though it is perhaps better known for being the school of George H.W., George W., and Jeb Bush. Stay tuned; later in the week I’m going to publish a letter I received from a straight Andover alumna in Texas after she read my article.)

“Discussion of gay rights, sexual preference, and related topics,” read the announcement in the Phillips Academy Daily Bulletin on February 7, 1989. “All welcome.”

About a dozen students, faculty, and staff showed up for that first meeting of the prestigious Andover prep school’s gay/straight alliance, recalled Sharon Tentarelli, a Class of 1990 alumna and the founder of the group. The Andover GSA was in fact only the second in the nation, started just after that of nearby Concord Academy. Read the rest of this post »

Candace Parker on Sports, Fame, and Motherhood

Think of this as Mombian: The Weekend Sports Edition:

ESPN the Magazine’s cover story this month features WNBA superstar Candace Parker, with her hands cupping the round curve of . . . her pregnant stomach. It’s a striking picture for a magazine that rarely has females of any sort on the cover.

The article asks, “Can Candace Parker be the female Jordan?” meaning not only in her basketball skills but also in her marketing appeal. Can women athletes be marketed as athletes, not just sex symbols? Can they take time off for a pregnancy and return to an athletic career and motherhood?

Parker says:

“The baby will be along for the ride, with me on trips, at the court.” She sighs. “You don’t hear about male players doing that, do you? Women, we just have to balance more things. It’s harder for us. That’s just the way it is.” She offers a weary smile before adding, “For now.”

Parker is, of course, treading ground that moms and ball players like Sheryl Swoopes and Lisa Leslie have trod before her. Whether Parker’s record will stand up to theirs in the long term remains to be seen. She has yet only one professional season to her credit. One advantage she has that they didn’t however, is that she is entering an already established league, with a few more years of public awareness about women’s professional sports.

The article does start with a mention of Parker’s bra size, which seems gratuitous, but most of the article is about how she’s been able to capitalize on her success “by selling her game, not her body.” I’ll allow the writer a catchy lead for what is really a more balanced article.

The print magazine includes a chart of five women athletes who returned to competition—and victories—after motherhood: Leslie, swimmer Dara Torres, runner Paula Radcliffe, tennis player Lindsay Davenport, and softball pitcher Jennie Finch. It doesn’t seem like motherhood has slowed them down at all.

It’s a good read in a publication I’m guessing most of us don’t read regularly. (Which brings us to the issue of women’s sports and media coverage, but that’s a whole other post . . . .)