Comments on: New York Recognizes Non-Bio Parents

By: moufaisbad

moufaisbad — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:44:21 +0000

I would love to write a letter of thanks to these brave women! I was just gearing up for the same legal battle. I couldn’t stomach the idea that my partner and i could so meticulously plan something and she could not be on the birth certificate from the hospital. Whereas anyone could get knocked up in a bar by some guy they didnt know and that schmuck *could* be on the birth certificate.
Thank you for going to bat for our familes.
and I also <3 NY and am proud to call it home.

By: RebLsys

RebLsys — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:05:48 +0000

22 years ago in California the head of the Bureau of Vital Statistics refused to change our adopted daughter’s birth certificate (after we were granted the ‘first openly-gay joint adoption’ in CA).

He left our daughter’s biological parents names on the document (the heterosexual couple from whom she was removed at the age of 18 months due to severe abuse and neglect) and took the position that the judge who granted the adoption was ‘ahead of his time’.

It took our state representative (Jackie Spier) 3 years to change this practice and allow both of our names to show on our daughter’s birth certificate.

To us, it meant that the ‘officials’ in schools, community & athletic groups, etc. had to work/deal with us, not because they so deigned, but because we were the PARENTS.

Onward!!

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 01:33:19 +0000

I agree about making sure to still get the second-parent adoption process.

FWIW, this might be slightly off topic, but in IL, if a same-sex couple adopts a child, once you go through the home study, etc, the birth certificate is re-written to include both parents name on the birth certificate. Of course, in an adoption, the legal-issues have already been taken care (as a part of the process!) of by the time the certificate is redone.

I could be wrong, but I believe even in a bio/non-bio mom situation, the same would be true (but I’m not a lawyer)!!

By: Polly

Polly — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:39:56 +0000

Oh. And I should add: I heart NY!

By: Polly

Polly — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 22:39:14 +0000

I’m no lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, nor have I ever. But as a non-bio parent, currently (provisionally legally) married to a same-sex partner in CA, I’ve heard the same thing.

It can be a costly process (social worker home visit, legal advice &/or shepherding, etc., plus the county’s filing fees). But we have no other way of being assured of parenthood recognition, crossing state (and national) borders. Much less contending with the random homophobe/heterosexist at home.