It’s official. Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick has signed a repeal of the 1913 law prohibiting out-of-state couples from marrying in the state if their home states forbid the unions.

At the same time, he signed the MassHealth Equality bill, granting equal benefits to married same-sex and opposite-sex couples through MassHealth, the state’s Medicaid program. MassHealth, which receives federal funding, was prohibited from recognizing same-sex marriages by the federal Defense of Marriage Act. The new law forces the state to pay for providing the benefits to same-sex married couples. Gov. Patrick noted that this is “the first piece of legislation in the nation to reject discrimination in the federal Defense of Marriage Act.”

Welcome to the Commonwealth! New Yorkers, leave your Yankees hats at home if you want town clerks to be expeditious with your paperwork.

(I should also point out that while we’re in a celebratory mood today in the Bay State, there’s still a list of LGBT rights to work on here, including expanded rights for transgender people, LGBT youth, seniors, and victims of domestic violence, and in the area of HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention.)

This week, Helen and I respond to viewer feedback about kids and homophobia, and discuss what to do if parents of your children’s friends are homophobic. We also offer our perspective on the new DVD Finn’s Girl, which features a widowed lesbian mom trying to balance career and her rebellious 11-year-old daughter. Is it a believable portrayal of parenting? (See also an interview with the filmmakers on After Ellen.)

Online Videos by Veoh.com

(If the Veoh video above isn’t working for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Religion and LGBT rights often stand in opposition. A new study (PDF link) in the June 2008 Journal of Family Psychology, however, found that “religiously invested lesbians and gay men, and those with children, were the most likely to cohabit and to legalize and ritualize their couple relationships.”

Study participants were residents of Illinois, so legal recognition through marriage was not an option. Cohabiting same-sex couples who legalized their relationship by making wills or granting powers of attorney to each other, however, were more likely to belong to a supportive religious congregation than non-legalizing cohabiters. The researchers say, “it may be that faith communities encourage the structural validation of same-sex couples, even if partners do not desire ritual,” an intriguing and little-explored example of the positive impact of religion on same-sex relationships. Read more »

Out-of-state same-sex couples could marry in Massachusetts later today. Lawmakers have attached an emergency preamble to the bill lifting marriage restrictions on out-of-state couples, stating that it will take effect as soon as the governor signs it, rather than after the usual 90 days. The bill could go to the governor today, according to the Associated Press.

Undoubtedly some couples will be lining up outside the State House with extra pens, in case he needs one (though I’m guessing his daughter will make sure he’s well provided).

Two people are dead and seven injured after a man entered the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church Sunday and fired a sawed-off 12-gauge semiautomatic shotgun during a children’s performance of the musical Annie.

The shooter, Jim David Adkisson, left a letter in his car stating he hated liberals and gay people and was motivated by frustration over his unemployment. He told investigators “all liberals should be killed.”

Investigators are treating the case as a hate crime. They should.

At the same time, I think we need to be careful not to view this tragedy purely as a matter of liberal vs. conservative. As the Rev. William Sinkford, President of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, said in a statement, “This crime was the action of one man who clearly must have lost the battle with his personal demons.” The Christian Science Monitor explains, “a deep sense of victimization and scapegoating” can cause someone to seek vengeance through indiscriminate violence.

Adkisson himself may have been inspired by ultra-conservative pundits, but violence doesn’t always follow political lines. Last December, a gunman shot and killed two teens at Colorado’s New Life Church, after killing two other people at a nearby missionary center. It seems he had been thrown out of the missionary program a few weeks earlier, and had been sending it hate mail.

New Life Church’s brand of Evangelical Protestantism is far too conservative for me. Former pastor Ted Haggard’s views on “homosexuality” (not to mention his hypocrisy when he was caught with a male prostitute)—well, you can imagine what I think of that. Still: teens shot in church; children almost shot. The denomination doesn’t matter. Easy access to guns and a system that doesn’t identify and help those most likely to use them for murder. Something has to change here, folks. Read more »

The Massachusetts House just voted to repeal the 1913 law that prevented most out-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in the Bay State. The bill now goes to Governor Deval Patrick, who has said he will sign it.

Massachusetts was, of course, the first state to legalize marriage for same-sex couples, although California was the first to open it to out-of-staters. Same-sex couples who marry in California still face the invalidation of their marriages if Prop. 8 passes in November, however. (It’s unclear if couples already married would be “grandfathered” and allowed to remain so.) No one can touch the Massachusetts marriage law until at least 2012, and that seems increasingly unlikely to me.

There’s no official word yet on when the repeal will go into effect. It does present same-sex couples with some difficult questions if they are considering marriage, though: Ceremony in Provincetown or the Castro, Cape Cod Bay or Half Moon Bay? Honeymoon in the Berkshires or the Sierras? Clambake or avocado salad at the reception?

I say if the clambake doesn’t inspire you, our fall foliage certainly will. (Of course, I’m married to a California native so I have to be careful what I say here. I admit the Sierras have a certain grandeur.) Other California or Massachusetts residents: Give us a pitch for your state (serious or silly) in the comments.

Entrepreneur.com published an article today titled “A Long-Term Commitment,” about how marketing to the LGBT community goes beyond taking advantage of the wedding boom in California. The reporter, Elizabeth Wilson, spoke with me for the article and included some of my thoughts. She also quotes Nina Smith of Queercents, among others.

Entrepreneur isn’t the first publication to address marketing and same-sex weddings. Steve Roth of Roth Strategic Communications had an article about it in advertising-industry magazine AdAge last month. Ben Finzel of the Fleishman-Hillard gay and lesbian communications group wrote about it in the group’s FH Out Front blog. Entrepreneur.com’s coverage is notable, however, for reaching out to small business owners in particular. Like the other articles, though, it pinpoints the key needs when targeting LGBT consumers: be sincere and take the time to learn about us.

(This is a follow up to my earlier post about the challenge to Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, a gay-themed children’s book. Originally published in Bay Windows, July 23, 2008. Minor corrections below.)

Librarian Defends Local Author’s Gay-Themed Children’s Book

A patron at Douglas County Libraries in Colorado has submitted the first known challenge to Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, a children’s book by Massachusetts author Sarah Brannen, that features two gay guinea pigs.

In an e-mail to library director James LaRue on June 26, Parker, Colo., resident Anita Gohde formally asked that the book be removed from the library, placed in a special area, or labeled “some material may be inappropriate for young children.” She also submitted a letter to her local newspaper, the Parker Chronicle, which appeared the same day.

In her letter to the paper, Gohde wrote: “I want my voice to be heard. I am offended. Shouldn’t I have the right to voice my opinion and to take my young daughter to the public library without concern that she will choose a book that promotes gay marriage - a view that is a slap in my face?” She added a call for action: “Does anybody out there hear me? Where are all of the other moms who are willing to stand up for their beliefs? If you are, then get up, call the library, call the governor, call anybody. Do something.” Read more »

• The U.S. House approved repeal of a law barring HIV-positive visitors and immigrants to the country. It now goes to the President.
• The Personnel Subcommittee of the U.S. House Armed Services Committee heard testimony for and against the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. SLDN executive director Aubrey Sarvis notes the irony that this was the same day politicians gathered to honor the 60th anniversary of President Truman’s executive order that ended racial discrimination in the armed forces.
• After meeting with HRC (and perhaps feeling pressure from the blogosphere) the Mars candy company pulled a controversial ad showing an effeminate man being shot at with candy bars and told to “run like a real man.”

Read more »

Another “we could have guessed that” scientific study:

Scientists in Denmark have found that the foods a nursing mom eats can flavor her breast milk. As far as I can remember, though, all of the nursing moms I know were told by their doctors to watch what they eat when nursing, just in case certain things don’t sit well with the baby’s developing digestive system.

What’s new about this, then? It seems to be the focus on flavor, not just the general chemical effect of certain foods (like gas-producing ones). The researchers also revealed some interesting details about the process. They found that a nursing mother’s food can flavor breast milk for up to eight hours. Different flavors take different amounts of time to get into the milk, though, with licorice and caraway seed peaking in two hours, mint in six hours, and banana not at all.

They also found evidence that the flavors in breast milk can influence a child’s food preferences later in life, and that this may explain certain cultural cuisine preferences. It still seems to be an open question as to when these preferences really solidify, however. To my mind (and I’m no expert), there’s still time when a child is moving on to solid foods, so babies who aren’t breastfed aren’t necessarily excluded from the tastes of their parents.

I’m interested, though: If you have a family where one mother breastfed and the other didn’t, do you have any sense that the child picked up tastes from the nursing mom? This could be a matter of genetics and not milk flavor, of course—but I know there are other families like my own, where one mom is the genetic mom and the other is the gestational/nursing mom. In our case, the few places where we all differ in taste seem to align our son more with me (the genetic mom) than Helen (the gestational mom), however. He and I like pickles, for example, and Helen doesn’t. This could be a simple matter of me being the primary caregiver, though, regardless of genetics, and offering him pickles at a young age. In general, though, we all have pretty adventurous tastes, so I’m not sure we’re the best family to study in this regard. Any other insights from other families?