Vacation

My family and I will be on vacation this week and next, visiting Helen’s relatives in California. With luck, we’ll also be at San Francisco Pride, soaking up some of the matrimonial excitement, but our primary obligation this trip is to family.

We’ll also be heading out to a rustic location for a few days. The lodge where we’re staying is supposed to have WiFi, but I don’t want to assume it will be working. I also suspect Helen may tie socks around my hands so I can’t type and am forced to take a break.

Posting will therefore be light, although I’ve set a few things to post automatically, including a nice guest piece about lesbian parenting in a country outside the U.S. If I can sneak out at night and post while everyone’s asleep, though, you may hear more from me. Stop by and see.

Comment moderation will also be slow. If you’ve posted a comment before, you shouldn’t have a problem. If not (or if you’ve changed e-mail addresses), it may be held in the queue until I can check it. (This is an effort to control spam, not to censor.)

We’ll be back in full swing around here on July 7.

Weekly Political Roundup

As you’ll know if you weren’t on the moon this week, marriages became legal for same-sex couples in California. Here are some additional highlights:

• More than 2,700 marriage licenses were issued statewide on June 17, vs. the average June day’s count of about 480. The LA Times has a cool interactive map breaking this down by county, and the Sacramento Bee says that 60% of the licenses for same-sex couples are for two women.
• GLAAD has posted a compilation of TV news coverage from various SoCal locations.
• Michael J. Rosenfeld, an assistant professor of sociology at Stanford University, offers evidence in the Sacramento Bee that same-sex parents are raising children successfully. He cites data from the U.S. Census in opposition to conservative groups who claim there are no national studies to show how children fare when raised from birth by same-sex couples.
• Ashley Harness, the daughter of lesbian moms from Minnesota, explains what the California ruling means to her, and what societal acceptance of her mothers’ relationship might have meant to her while growing up.

News didn’t stop elsewhere, though: Read the rest of this post »

Federal Benefits for Children of Same-Sex Parents

The U.S. Department of Justice ruled Tuesday that the Social Security Administration must recognize the children of same-sex couples, including their relationship with non-biological parents, even though the federal Defense of Marriage Act prevents the government from recognizing or providing benefits to those couples.

The opinion was offered in the case of a minor child whose non-biological parent was collecting Social Security benefits. It was unclear whether the child could also collect benefits, as those with opposite-sex parents could. The DoJ ruled that:

Although DOMA limits the definition of ‘marriage’ and ‘spouse’ for purposes of federal law, the Social Security Act does not condition eligibility for [benefits] on the existence of a marriage or on the federal rights of a spouse in the circumstances of this case; rather, eligibility turns upon the State’s recognition of a parent-child relationship, and specifically, the right to inherit as a child under state law. . . . A child’s inheritance rights under state law may be independent of the existence of a marriage or spousal relationship.

While the federal government still has a long way to go (a widowed partner should get her/his partner’s Social Security benefits, too), this is a significant move. At last, someone is thinking of what’s best for the children.

The Basketball Argument

Seen at Boston Pride:

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 33

Helen and I share the story of a Pride brunch hosted by the mayor of Cambridge, Massachusetts, who is herself a lesbian mom—and grandmother. I even go so far as to show off my t-shirt from the event, the only pink piece of clothing I’ve owned in my adult life.

We then bring you our review of a brand-new electronic reading system for kids from Leapfrog. Is it right for your kids or nieces/nephews? Our son even offers his opinion.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

(If the Veoh video above isn’t working, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

When the Baby Carriage Comes First

In my last post, I put up photos of California weddings with children in attendance because it was obvious to me that same-sex couples couldn’t until now follow the traditional order of marriage first, kids second.

When parents marry, it of course affects their children. (See also our vlog from a couple of weeks back, on ways to include children in wedding ceremonies.) The mainstream press hadn’t seemed to pick up on this storyline, however, until John Simerman wrote a great article for the Contra Costa Times:

For the children, reactions to the marital frenzy range from been-there, done-that ease among older kids, to excitement at the public cheers and wedding tears. Some . . . said they hope it means unwelcome teasing or questions at school — “Are your parents married?” — can now dissolve with a simple affirmative. . . .

“They said they got married but then they took the license away. I was wondering a lot,” said Chase Crawford-Herold, 8 . . . “I figured out those people that weren’t letting my parents get married were just being a little bit cruel.”

Beyond the sharp divisions over same-sex marriage is a fact that was set in bold relief across the Bay Area early this week: the sheer number of same-sex couples raising families regardless of the state’s view on marriage, and the many children who have grown up with a booster-seat view of a galvanizing issue.

The intense debate that began four years ago in San Francisco has filtered into classrooms. That has helped children of same-sex couples more openly discuss an often sensitive topic, said Meredith Fenton, program director at COLAGE, a national support organization for children of same-sex couples. . . .

Go read the whole thing.

(Thanks to the Bilerico Project and the photographers who made these images available free for use.)

Same-Sex Couples Marry in California: No Earthquakes Reported

No locusts, either. Lots of great photos, though. Here are a few of some well known couples, plus (because we’re all about the kids here at Mombian) a few showing happy kids and their just-wed parents. Go read Karen Ocamb’s on-the-ground report over at Bilerico for more on some of these families and others.

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon:

(AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez, Pool)

George Takei and Brad Altman:

Read the rest of this post »

Just Married: Images from California

Video of Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, the first same-sex couple to marry legally in California, just after their ceremony in San Francisco. The video also features Mayor Gavin Newsom, who performed the ceremony.

Robin Tyler and Diane Olson, also among the plaintiffs in the case that won same-sex couples the right to marry:

More after the jump: Read the rest of this post »

The Right Loves Lesbian Moms

Why is an ultra-right legal group supporting the custody suit of a lesbian mom? Nancy Polikoff, author of Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families under the Law asks the question in a fascinating post today at Beacon Broadside.

As Polikoff tells it, a Virginia appeals court last week rejected a visitation request by Christine, a nonbiological lesbian mom, saying it would not recognize a “de facto parent” or a “psychological parent,” unless she could provide “clear and convincing evidence” that the child would suffer harm from denying her visitation. The conservative Liberty Counsel filed a brief in support of the biological mom, Jennifer, saying “the “de facto” or “psychological” parent doctrine should be shot down before it undermines marriage and parents’ rights. Unlike Miller, Jennifer has not, to anyone’s knowledge, renounced her lesbianism, making the Liberty Counsel’s support very odd indeed.

Yes, that’s right, this happened in a Virginia court. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll remember that the Virginia Supreme Court ruled last week that the state must enforce a Vermont court order awarding child-visitation rights to non-biological lesbian mom Janet Jenkins. Read Polikoff’s post for a full analysis of the difference and for the insight only a lawyer can provide. (And visit her own site for more on her and her book.)

From Sea to Shining Sea

A very happy wedding day to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, who will marry today at 5:01 p.m. Pacific, after waiting over 50 years. Two other plaintiffs in the marriage case, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson, who got the ball rolling for the lawsuit when they were denied a marriage license at the Beverly Hills Courthouse in 2004, will also get their license tonight in the selfsame city. (Martin and Lyon will receive theirs in San Francisco from Mayor Gavin Newsom.)

Marriage is all over the news and likely to remain so all week. I particularly like this article on New York Governor David Patterson, and the straight people who are thanking him on behalf of their daughters and sons for his recognition of out-of-state wedded same-sex couples. I also think it’s cool that the California ruling is boosting the sales of a company that makes same-sex cake toppers. (The company was started several years ago by an African American woman who could not find a cake-couple for herself and her fiance, a Japanese American man.)

Lest we forget, too: marriage isn’t the solution for everyone. Read Nancy Polikoff’s well reasoned Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families under the Law for a look at why we also need to be thinking about recognizing other forms of committed relationships.

Finally, the title of this post is very deliberate. It’s not just a comment on geography, but a nod to Katherine Lee Bates, author of “America the Beautiful,” who lived for 25 years with fellow Wellesley College professor Katherine Coman in what is commonly called a “Boston marriage.” (When students and alumnae sing this song at Wellesley, we always change the last line of the first verse to “. . . and crown thy good with sisterhood.”) As we move forward into a future of increasing equality, it’s good not to forget the past.

Congratulations to all the same-sex couples about to marry!