My son and I were watching the French Open today. Last weekend, we caught some English soccer (aka “football”), and we regularly watch the Red Sox, especially when my dad’s around. I know Helen and I have made an effort to expose our son to professional sports as well as getting him involved in playing them. Not that we’re trying to make him into a star athlete, but we know that many of his peers watch a lot of sports, and we don’t want to put him at a disadvantage. Watching professionals is one way to learn skills (along with practice, of course), and even if it’s a sport he’ll never play, knowing the lingo gives him a cultural literacy that should serve him well on the playground. (We still mute most of the commercials, though—there are certain aspects of cultural literacy that aren’t appropriate for preschoolers.)
We’ve noticed, however, that when his peers with opposite-sex parents watch sports, it’s usually with their dads. Yes, there’s no reason they couldn’t watch sports with their moms, and I’m sure some do, but by and large it seems to be a dad thing. This is the point at which the more conservative minded will jump up and down and say “See? A dad is necessary,” to which I reply, “Just because this is usually a man’s role doesn’t mean it always has to be. Now move over, you’re blocking the game.”
Viewing sports with our son wasn’t a stretch for us because we played and followed sports long before becoming parents. I find, however, that I’m making more of an effort to turn on men’s sports as well as women’s, and to watch the sports that my son himself is playing (like soccer).
I was wondering if our experience was similar to other lesbian moms out there. Do you turn on sports you wouldn’t otherwise watch in order to expose your children to them, especially if this is something their peers do with their male parents? Do you make a point to watch athletes of a certain gender, based on the gender of your kids (or do you make a point to watch both)? Do you think children with lesbian moms in general watch less sports than those with a straight dad in the household? Are there advantages and disadvantages either way? (Certainly there are a number of professional athletes not appropriate as role models for anyone.) Your thoughts?
10:17 am
Parenting, Sports
Liza
on May 28th, 2008
@ 2:47 pm:
Well, my son is only 2, so we haven’t worried much about variety of exposure. And if I were a single parent, pretty much the only way he’d have been exposed to any kind of sports is either day care or random cultural moments — ie a cartoon character playing baseball.
But his other mom is a sports fan, as are a lot of the moms of his peers. So he’s watched baseball and softball and women’s basketball on TV. For awhile, every night after dinner we went outside and “played soccer” (kicked the ball around a neighbor’s driveway), and right now, every object in our house is a potential baseball or bat. And last weekend, he went to his first professional sports event, a WNBA game.
As Noah and his future sister get older, they’ll get to participate more in deciding what they want to do and watch, and I think we’ll make an effort to expose them to a wider range of sports, played by both genders.
But Jill is in charge. :)
Jamie
on May 28th, 2008
@ 3:38 pm:
My 7(nearly 8)year old daughter is exposed to some, but not a whole lot of sports. Neither of her mom’s have been or were athletic!! With that said, we do live in NC where college basketball is a religion. I’m still not all THAT into it. We do have season tickets to the Duke Women’s BBall games, but that’s about it.
However, recently, my daughter played her first soccer season and I’ve become that stereotypical soccer mom! She’s even going to a 1/2 day week long soccer camp this summer. She’s actually a great athlete, I’m just worried I won’t be pushy enough to encourage her to play sports.
It’s been my experience that in most households there is at least one mom who like sports. Is it more or less than households with dads? I don’t know…however I do suspect that when it’s women watching sports with the kids it’s a more kinder gentler viewing. But now that I think about that, I have distinct memories of my great grandmother yelling at the TV during “professional wrestling” back in the 70s! So maybe that’s not true either.
alterisego
on May 28th, 2008
@ 6:36 pm:
Coming from a family with opposite-sex parents, I have actually been exposed very little to sports–just about all of my exposure came from school PE. My dad is sports-literate, but barely ever follows or watches the current games. So I certainly don’t think the children of two-mom families are losing anything athletically by not having a male parent.
I am, however, curious about two-dad families. How would they compare athletically to two-mom families, or mom-dad families?
Mo
on May 28th, 2008
@ 11:29 pm:
I came from a straight family where my mom watched some sports (and yelled at the tv) and my dad watched absolutely none. I love watching sports, but usually the less traditional ones, like gymnastics, track, tennis, and love the Olympics! I’m not making any effort to watch different gender or different sports than I would usually watch, but I like a lot of both, so I think the kids will be fine.
ang
on May 29th, 2008
@ 11:18 am:
The only sports I ever watched, coming from a straight family, was from my lesbian babysitter who used to take me to Dodgers games.
Shawna
on May 29th, 2008
@ 12:44 pm:
In our house, baseball is the only sport we watch. Now when the kids, 3 and 7, get control of the remote, I expect that to change. But for now I figure six months a year of this sort of silliness is enough.
Best tv/kids sports memory: Marching in circles around the living room during the 2003 World Series chanting “let’s go Giants” with my then 3 year old daughter.
Worst tv/kids sports memory: An hour later . . .having to explain why mommy was crying after the Giants lost game 6.
Michelle
on May 29th, 2008
@ 3:13 pm:
Neither my partner nor I watch any sports on television. So far, our daughters (aged 3 and 5) haven’t expressed any interest in doing so, either.
Having said that, however, we’re a very sports-oriented family. They’ve been in swimming lessons since 6 months old - as a result they both swim like little fishies. They’ve been in gymnastics since they were two. They are currently in t-ball and have been in soccer in the past. They ride their bikes. My five-year old and I play tennis together and she accompanies me to the driving range at the golf course where she gets her own bucket of balls to hit.
The biggest commitment so far has come when my darling, ultra-girly-girl (then) four-year-old announced that she wanted to play hockey in the (predominantly) boys’ league. That involved a fairly pricey registration fee and tons of equipment. The season ran from September to April with at least 2 games/practices per week as well as tournaments. She was awesome. Thing is, I hate hate hate watching hockey, even if it is my own kid out there (I could put about a thousand more “hates” in there). Talk about the supreme sacrifice. When the final game of the season was over I literally cried with joy.
Generally, we cease all organized sports for the summer because we are out of the city most of the time. However, for a one-week period we’ve put the girls in Highland Dancing Camp. That should be interesting.