Deborah Solomon recently interviewed actor and lesbian mom Cynthia Nixon in the New York Times Magazine. Jessica at Feministing, however, notes the general cluelessness of the questions. The interview starts out all right:
A few years ago, you moved in with a woman, after leaving the father of your children. Do you find it easier living with a woman than a man because you have more in common? I think you do have more in common.
You can use the same bathroom in movie theaters, for instance. That’s absolutely true!
. . . but ventures into dangerous territory with:
Can you share clothes? No. Christine doesn’t wear women’s clothes; she only wears men’s clothes. She won’t even wear any kind of women’s shoes. I bought her a pair of cowboy boots that were from the women’s department, and she was like, “Don’t do this again.”
. . . because Nixon’s answer clearly sends Solomon down the long road of stereotypes:
Does she watch sports on TV? She does. We don’t have a TV. But when there was a World Cup, we went to the local Ruby Foo’s and watched it. And we actually did watch the Super Bowl as well. She tried to explain it to me.
. . . and it gets worse:
Do you think of her as the male figure in the relationship? No, I don’t at all. Look at what’s happening now. She’s at home with the kids, and I’m the one out pounding the pavement. . . . She’s for Hillary, and I’m for Obama.
Yes, most of us know at least one woman who wears men’s clothes, likes to watch sports, and whose gender identity veers into male territory. For every lesbian like that, though, there are plenty who blur the lines. A suit-wearing butch who hates sports; a femme who loves basketball. Not to mention all the couples where neither would identify as the “male figure.”
Perhaps there’s some value to the questions, though—or, more accurately, to Nixon’s answers, because they might help dispel a few myths about lesbian relationships. What do you think? (Personally, I’m all for starting a fund to send Solomon to Women’s Week in P’Town, or at least to a WNBA game.)
2:31 pm
Entertainment, Selves and Identities
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Ben Finzel
on May 22nd, 2008
@ 9:42 am:
Dana, you make several good points. I read this interview and immediately thought back to the one with Suze Orman that appeared in a similar column a few years ago (the one where she came out). In both cases, the NYT reporter/interviewer comes across as a kind of well-meaning, but clueless, straight person. To me, the rather crude questioning style of this interview came off as simplistic and verging on stupid – not of the quality you’d expect of such an august publication. I guess this is just one more example of the need for media to understand how to report on our lives honestly without resorting to stereotypes.
mamcwifey
on May 22nd, 2008
@ 11:06 am:
wow- i didn’t know being able to use the same bathroom was such a huge gain homo couples have over hetero couples!
the clueless interviewer missed an opportunity to insert a joke about not having to nag anyone to put the seat down. *rolls eyes
tubesteak
on May 22nd, 2008
@ 12:46 pm:
Dude – talk about butches….
http://decentcommunity.org/2008/05/20/identifying-a-butch/
Uncle Roger
on May 23rd, 2008
@ 2:29 am:
It’s not just lesbians (or gay men) where the gender stereotypes don’t work. My wife likes sports; I couldn’t be less interested. She can’t cook; I’m a decent cook. I have way better taste in women’s clothes; she’s pretty fashion clueless (but that’s to be expected — I’ve got half a century of experience looking at women). On the other hand, she likes lifetime movies and all those baby shows on discovery health while I like action and sci fi. I’m very into weapons but she’s painful to watch with a butter knife.
So basically, gender stereotypes really don’t work for anyone.
Miss Vicki
on May 28th, 2008
@ 10:05 pm:
Well, you were being kind to Deborah Solomon.
She wasn’t clueless – either she put no preparation or thought into this interview
OR Simply….
She was being condescending, it was as a reminder of when a powerful woman sits before Pat Buchanon, Matthews, O’Riley or one of those other idiots.
The objective is what – often to be condescending in a catty innocent I will make people giggle and laugh – as if powerful woman is a comedy show.
Solomon knew — she oughta feel stupid though, what a waste of an interview and the amount of words she was given for this print.
TCS
on May 29th, 2008
@ 3:13 pm:
On the up side, for me anyway, it was strangely refreshing to read in the mass media about a lesbian on the butchy side of the spectrum.
As Uncle Roger says, Solomon might have taken up Nixon’s remark and extended it to say something about flexible gender roles in all couples. Instead she went for the cheap, “who’s the man” laugh. But still, I’m sure Nixon’s answers enlightened some people because the ignorance is pretty thick out there.
I didn’t think people thought about lesbians that way anymore, when my eldest niece (when she was 8) asked my partner and me which one of us was “the man”. I said, well, neither of us is the man, and we both do things that moms and dads usually do. Aunt L. likes soccer, but I like to fix things around the house, I said. Well, my sister-in-law had just renovated their entire house and yard, doing all the work herself. So to my niece, using power tools made me the woman.