Saving the Earth: A Lesson Gone Too Far

It’s Earth Day. My son’s preschool had a series of related activities and discussions all last week, and he’s had the Earth on his mind.

After going through several pieces of toilet paper during a pit stop the other day, he held up the final one and asked “Mommy, if it’s clean, can I leave it on the counter for the next person?”

I explained about germs, but was impressed by his commitment to reducing consumption.

Please share some of the things you do to protect the environment and save energy. How do you teach your children to do so? Where do you compromise for convenience?

New Rights for Lesbian Moms in Australia

This just in from Clare of When Do We Get the Toaster:

Non-biological lesbian moms in New South Wales, Australia, will now have equal parenting rights and responsibilities under the law. The move brings NSW in line with Western Australia, the Australian Capital Territory, and the Northern Territory, as well as New Zealand and Canada. According to a press release issued by Attorney General John Hatzistergos, the new laws will give children greater protections in medical emergencies and other situations where a parent might have to sign consent forms. Having two legal parents will also give children equal rights to: Read the rest of this post »

Funny Texas Lesbian Mom on LOGO

One of the funniest lesbian comediennes I’ve ever heard is lesbian mom Vickie Shaw. Her Texas drawl and impeccable timing had Helen and me rolling in the aisle during two Olivia cruises (and no, it wasn’t seasickness).

Since another cruise isn’t in the cards for us this year, I was happy to see that Shaw will be premiering an hour-long special, “You Can Take the Girl Out of Texas,” tomorrow night on LOGO (Tuesday Apr. 22 at 9:00 PM ET/PT). The show will be part of LOGO’s weekly Tuesday night comedy block, “Funny Gay Stuff.”

Shaw was married for 18 years and had three children before coming out as both a lesbian and a comic. Her show isn’t entirely about parenting, but as her Web site states, “Vickie’s family is important to her, and as you will see they are just as dysfunctional as your family. She includes them in her act because it is cheaper than therapy.”

We could all use a few therapeutic laughs. Set your Tivo’s or VCR’s.

It’s Raining (Pregnant) Men

Thomas Beatie caused a minor sensation several weeks ago when he came out as a pregnant transgender man. I offered my own opinion about him, which boils down to “a loving family is all that matters.”

Annalee Newitz at AlterNet, however, reminded us that Beatie is not the first man to get pregnant. She knows of at least two others in the U.S., one of whom had a child almost ten years ago. Now, the U.K.’s Daily Express reports that a transgender man in Germany had a child over a decade ago. (Thanks, PageOneQ.) I’d venture a guess that we’ll hear of more in short order. Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

• The Justice Department’s inspector general said he is looking into whether a department lawyer was dismissed over a rumor that she is a lesbian.
• HRC says that reports of the death of an Arizona constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage were greatly exaggerated. The state legislature might reconsider and send it to voters this November. E. J. Montini of The Arizona Republic expresses his exasperation with those who are pushing for a constitutional ban in a state where same-sex marriage is already illegal. Lawmakers should focus on solving problems that really matter, he says.
• Lambda Legal, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Transgender Law Center, and 24 other organizations made a written appeal to the District Attorney of Ventura County, CA, asking him to try 15-year-old Lawrence “Larry” King’s accused killer, 14-year-old Brandon McInerney, as a juvenile. They said that while King’s murder was a tragedy, it shouldn’t be compounded by treating McInerney as an adult. Read the rest of this post »

Bilerico Founder on Family, Online and Off

(Many of you here in the bloggitysphere know of LGBT group blog The Bilerico Project. Founder Bil Browning was kind enough to share some of his thoughts on parenting and family with me—and now with you. Originally published by Bay Windows, April 18, 2008.)

Long-time LGBT activist Bil Browning is making a name for himself as the founding father of The Bilerico Project, one of the fastest-growing and most diverse LGBT communities online. Bilerico’s 50 contributors across the LGBT spectrum and the country include luminaries from most national LGBT organizations as well as a slew of local activists and other writers. Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank as well as both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have seen fit to post guest contributions there.

Browning and his partner Jerame Davis, who co-owns the site and oversees its technical side, are also fathers to a 14-year-old daughter. How do they balance the demands of managing the site (and consulting for local political campaigns and non-profits) with those of raising a teenager? Read the rest of this post »

A Cultural Icon?

I’ve kept my presidential preferences quiet. I think both Democratic candidates have their pros and cons, and while I favor one a bit more than the other, it’s not by enough to make it worth preaching or getting into debates here. As long as it’s not McCain.

As a sometime student of medieval history and (later) professional marketer, though, I have to say that Obama totally rocks the iconography.

Not that I’m equating the two; just noting the resemblance.

(Obama photo from the NY Times; Christ icon from Wikipedia Commons.)

Custody and Self-Loathing

Just when you thought the Jenkins-Miller custody battle was over, with a Vermont court ruling that Janet Jenkins could maintain child visitation rights to the daughter she parented with her former partner Lisa Miller:

Virginia’s Supreme Court this week heard arguments from Miller, the “ex-lesbian” biological mother, who wants the court to overturn an earlier ruling which affirmed Vermont court decisions giving Jenkins parental rights.

Nick Langewis at PageOneQ has a good recap of the whole interstate debacle. He also notes that fathers’-rights advocate Glenn Sacks sees the case as an example of what divorced straight women often do to their husbands. Sacks tells Jenkins “Welcome to the ‘dad’s club.”

I’ve never liked Sacks; his pro-father, pro-men stance tends to slide into misogyny. “I’m in Janet Jenkins’ corner on this one all the way,” he says. I’m a little creeped out to think I’m in that corner with him.

Langewis also discusses the “ex-gay” thread running through the case. This isn’t, however, the only recent custody battle with such a theme:

• Last year, the Utah Supreme Court ruled that parents do not have the right to visitation with non-biological children. The ruling stemmed from a custody case instigated by an ex-lesbian mom, working with an anti-gay legal organization.
• A Georgia mother tried to revoke the state’s second-parent adoption laws in order to prevent her ex-partner from custody. The Advocate says she is “rethinking her sexuality.” The Georgia Supreme Court declined to hear the case.
• A mom in Ohio tried to use the state’s ban on same-sex marriage to deny her ex-partner visitation, saying the ban also invalidated the right to co-parent. Not exactly an “ex-gay” case—but if we could revoke someone’s toaster oven. . . .

Isn’t part of being a parent teaching your children self-respect?

De Mommy, De Mama, De Facto

Ireland’s High Court has ruled that “a lesbian couple living together in a long-term committed relationship with a child can be regarded as a de facto family enjoying rights under the European Convention on Human Rights.” This meant denying guardianship and access rights to the sperm donor, a former friend of the couple. The donor had signed an agreement with the women “that he would not occupy the role of father” and “his access to the child would be at the discretion of the couple.” The judge found, however, that:

[The man] misled the couple as to his true intentions in entering into the sperm donation agreement,” and “there was a ‘poisonous’ relationship between the man and the child’s mother, an ‘arms length’ relationship between him and her partner. The child had no opportunity to form an bond to the man, although the man had formed a bond with the child. . . . The baby’s welfare was best served by remaining with the couple with no access by his biological father.

This seems like the right decision to me, although the man may yet appeal to the Supreme Court..

Now for a quick exercise in journalistic bias. Compare these three headlines about the case:

• From The Irish Times: “Lesbian couple with child ‘a de facto family’”
• From Independent.ie: “Sperm donor loses baby battle”
• From RTÉ News: “Sperm donor loses bid for access to son”

(On another note, I can’t help thinking that if Ellen and Portia ever moved to Ireland and had kids, they’d be the DeGeneres-De Rossi De Facto Family. Groan. OK, time for me to get some sleep. . . .)

New IVF Method Could Double Success, Reduce Risk of Multiples

I wrote earlier this week about how Helen and I conceived our son. One of our many concerns was what we would do if we had twins or more. Not that this would have been the end of the world; many parents have survived this (and a few might even relish getting the whole labor thing over with all at once), but it wasn’t our preferred way to go. We spent a few anxious weeks hoping that we’d have only one, as indeed we did.

Our other anxiety was that we’d strike out after three IVF attempts, at which point our insurance wouldn’t cover the procedure, at about $20,000 per try (plus $300 each time for the sperm).

Now, scientists at the University of Adelaide say they have developed a new method of IVF that could double pregnancy rates and halve the incidence of serious complications. It might also allow doctors to implant only a single embryo. Read the rest of this post »