I’m all for breastfeeding. My partner breastfed our son. While its health benefits may still be argued by some, I take the general approach that natural is usually best. At the same time, I fiercely defend a woman’s right to make the decision about whether to breastfeed and for how long. The question has too many variables for there to be a single answer that works for all mothers. (See, for example, the story of Alex Elliot, whose breast-reduction surgery made it impossible to breastfeed.)
The Chicago Sun-Times recently questioned whether the breastfeeding advocacy group La Leche League goes too far in pressuring women to breastfeed. I’ll leave that an open question; I think much depends on the specific local La Leche group. What was more eyebrow-raising to me, however, was the article’s note that one of La Leche League’s 10 basic principles is:
Breastfeeding is enhanced and the nursing couple sustained by the loving support, help, and companionship of the baby’s father. A father’s unique relationship with his baby is an important element in the child’s development from early infancy.
This may be true for partnered, straight women, but leaves no room for the experiences of either partnered lesbians or single moms of any orientation. I haven’t had any direct experience with La Leche myself, so I thought I’d ask you, dear readers: Have you used the services of a local La Leche group, or are you a La Leche Leader yourself? Have they been supportive of you and other non-traditional families? If so, is there an opportunity to ask the organization to reword their principle to fit their clientèle? If not, is breastfeeding support and information yet another area where lesbians and single moms are left without equal resources? What’s been your experience?
I found LL’s principle disturbing so I just sent them this e-mail. I’ll let you know if I get an answer back. I don’t mean to leave out single moms but thought it would be better to give my own personal example.
(to the Executive Director)
Hi, as a former-breastfeeder for 22 months for my now-3 1/2 year old and someone who’s about to start it all over again when I give birth in April, I have a question. It was brought to my attention that one of your basic principles stress the importance of breastfeeding for the baby’s relationship with its father. As a lesbian mom I am curious whether you see nursing as important to female non-biological partners as well. My partner has been as important in my child’s development as I have. She is in every way an equal mom. THe law recognizes her as a full parent but we don’t need the law to recognize the love and commitment it takes to be a parent. I would hope that La Leche includes families like ours when you talk about the importance of the non-breastfeeding parent in supporting nursing and contribuing to the child’s growth. I hope to hear from you. Thank you.
I know from personal experience that La Leche League DOES welcome all mothers — lesbian, single, straight, married, partnered, adoptive. Actually, I should say they welcome all parents. La Leche League recently turned 50 years old and while the wording may need some updating, it doesn’t change the fact that in individual groups they are out there supporting all parents who choose to breastfeed their babies.
Curious. I’d love to hear the ‘official’ word on this since I hope to be a breast feeding mama at one point (I’ve already got the lesbian part down).
I did a quick google search and found some interesting links. It sounds like its a chapter by chapter thing for the most part. But it sounds like overall, single women and lesbian partners are not overly welcome
http://thewidetent.blogspot.com/2006/10/bad-la-leche-league-leader.html
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/2000/03/31/laleche/index.html
This is from a France LLL in 2001 who are specifically asking LLLI how they can ensure that lesbians are included.
http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAprMay01p38.html
The SF league in their website makes a point of including lesbian mothers and single women (called mothers without partners – not a term I like).
http://friendlyvillage.com/lllsanfernandovalley/
Basically from what I saw, lesbian partners were included but as to how, it would be up to individual leaders. They admit their information showing ‘traditional families’ but feel that we can adapt and adjust as is necessary (a bit like we do elsewhere in life)
i don’t tend to concern myself with institutional principles, because i think that for the most part they are too distant from everyday experience as to be enlightening.
what i can say is that the newmarket, ontario la leche league group has been more than open and more than accepting and more than wonderful in many ways. it was never questioned that i, the non-biological mother of a son in a lesbian-headed family, would be welcomed in the group. nor was it questioned that my wife, a biological mother who was not able to breastfeed due to circumstances similar to alex elliott’s (i.e. a mediclly necessary breast reduction), should attend and belong to a breastfeeing advocacy and support group.
i think the observation and comment that it depends on the leader is well-founded, and while i would like to see the principle adapted to be more inclusive, i don’t think that it is necessarily reflective of a limited viewpoint on the part of the organization.
My personal experience with LLL has been nothing but positive!
Not only did my local group support me as an out lesbian, but the national organization published my breastfeeding success story and a picture of my partner, my son, and me in their national magazine. (New Beginnings, Nov/Dec 2007)
There was also an incident a year or two ago where they had booked a homophobic comedian as part of their 50th anniversary dinner. When her homophobic comments were raised to the LLL national leaders, the invitation was promptly withdrawn.
I think this is a great issue to raise with the organization, to ask them to update the language and clarify that they believe all families benefit from their breastfeeding getting the loving support of partners and extended families and friends.
I have no personal experience with La Leche but I have to say that when I read the article I definitely raised an eyebrow at not including lesbians and single moms and the eyebrow was not raised in a favorable way.
I am obviously coming to this article late, but it is of concern to me. As a lesbian mom and the author of LGBT-friendly musical album called Whip It Out: Songs for Breastfeeding, I donate proceeds in part to LLL. I will include a note with my next donation demanding inclusive language or I may send all of my donation proceeds to Best For Babes. Locally, (Seattle) LLL is very queer-friendly.