Authors Gina Daggett and Kathy Belge are the duo behind the long-running “Lipstick and Dipstick” advice column in Curve magazine, in which they offer their butch-femme take on lesbian relationships. Their first book, Lipstick’s and Dipstick’s Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships, is a compilation of practical and witty advice on everything from dealing with a new girlfriend’s homophobic parents, to setting boundaries when you move in together, to whether you should keep sex toys from a previous relationship. The book is not primarily about parenting, but does explore some parenting topics and their impact on adult relationships. Kathy (who also writes the Lesbian Life column for About.com) was kind enough to send me a copy so I could review the parenting sections. Read more »

• Two gay legislators in Connecticut took a bill meant to “clean up” gaps in Connecticut’s civil union law off the agenda of the Connecticut Judiciary Committee. They say they are waiting on the state Supreme Court ruling on the legality of denying full marriage equality to same-sex couples, but that the bill could still go before the full General Assembly before the session ends May 7.
• Florida officials told Eric Breidenbaugh he was “not an actual family member,” and they they couldn’t inform him whether his partner of six years, missing for hours aboard a small private plane, was alive or dead. It turned out that Joseph Bellamy died in a crash along with his parents.
• The Florida Sun-Sentinel ran a long article on Simmie Williams Jr., a gay teen who was killed in February in a possible hate crime.
• The Georgia Court of Appeals reversed a lower-court decision and cleared lesbian mom Elizabeth Hadaway from contempt charges stemming from her refusal to send her foster daughter Emma back to the girl’s biological mother, who was insisting that Hadaway take care of Emma. (I love the SoVo photo of Elizabeth and Emma, showing their blue tongues after some sticky treat.)

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H&R Block’s TaxCut Online software doesn’t support tax filings for civil union couples, as two Connecticut men have found out. The ACLU has sent a demand letter to the company asking it to change its system. The ACLU also states “Although the tax requirements for couples with civil unions in Connecticut are very similar to the requirements for married gay couples in Massachusetts, H&R Block’s online tax preparation service seems to accommodate married gay couples there.”

Hmm. Maybe . . . but if so, they have a few improvements to make. Here’s what I get after I start my TaxCut Online return:

What’s a married Massachusetts lesbian to do? Read more »

Slate columnist Emily Yoffe says single moms are a “national catastrophe.” Oklahoma representative Sally Kern says “homosexuality” is “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism.” Taken together, they make it seem like lesbian single moms such as Louise Sloan must be leading the way to utter destruction of our country. Sloan is the author of Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom, which I wrote about in December.

I was happy, therefore, to see Sloan take up the hue and cry against Yoffe. (I made my own contribution to the cause earlier this week.) She even goes so far as to suggest “a few things I think might actually help kids,” such as “a good public education system, universally accessible health care and other key resources for better parenting and stronger families.” Destructive thoughts indeed.

Sloan also spoke more generally about single motherhood—and about fatherhood—to HuffPo’s Rachel Kramer Bussel. Worth a read.

Helen and I urge viewers to submit names of LGBT moms for the “America’s Favorite Mom” contest, and share an easy kids’ activity that could keep you from spending $25 in a toy store. Helen then gets on her soapbox telling politicians a few “things your mama should have taught you.” Plus pirates, matzo meal, and another sneak appearance by our cat. (See if you can spot him this time.)

Online Videos by Veoh.com

If the Veoh video above isn’t working (sometimes their server can be flaky), you can try it at Daily Motion.

(Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.)

I’m thrilled to be able to give away a copy of the fabulous new LGBT-inclusive children’s book Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, signed by author Sarah Brannen.

Uncle Bobby’s Wedding is more than just a good LGBT-inclusive children’s book; it is a good children’s book, period. It tells the sweet story of Chloe, an anthropomorphic young guinea pig who worries that Uncle Bobby won’t keep having fun with her after he marries his boyfriend Jamie. Uncle Bobby explains that their special times together will not end; Chloe will not be losing an uncle, but gaining one. The book ends at the wedding, with Chloe as the enthusiastic flower girl.

The book’s great strength is that Jamie’s gender is a non-issue throughout. This leaves Brannen free to concentrate on her other themes, and opens up the book to a wider audience. Brannen’s rich watercolor drawings match the tranquil but sometimes playful tone of the text. Backed by major publisher G. P. Putnam Sons (an imprint of Penguin Young Readers Group), Uncle Bobby’s Wedding is bound to become well known and well loved.

You can read my interview with Brannen and her editor at After Elton. Thanks to the publisher for making this copy available to a Mombian reader.

The book will go to the first person who leaves a comment with the correct answer to both of the following two questions. Please note rules and restrictions below. Read more »

If you happen to own shares of Wells Fargo, make sure to open the proxy statement you should have received recently, and take the time to vote your proxy. Item 9, “Stockholder Proposal Regarding Neutral Sexual Orientation Employment Policy” (pages 105-107) is a vicious, anti-LGBT proposal asking the company to create an equal opportunity policy without reference to “any matters related to sexual interests, activities, or orientation.” As a supporting statement, the proposal adds “While the legal institution of marriage between a man and a woman should be protected, the sexual interests, inclinations and activities of all employees should be a private matter, not a corporate concern.” There’s more bile from the ultra-right, but I won’t repeat it here.

Wells Fargo has long been a corporate leader in LGBT rights, scoring a perfect 100 on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index, and sponsoring many LGBT events. The Board of Directors is urging shareholders to vote AGAINST the proposal:

The Company believes that welcoming all people and opposing discrimination in all its forms, including discrimination based on sexual orientation, represents a commitment to fairness that Americans support. This belief is how we conduct our business successfully.

This is the kind of proposal the far-right tries regularly to get past shareholders at Wells and other corporations. Wells, with its strong record of LGBT support, seems an unlikely target. Still, we can’t afford to let down our guard and assume the measure will fail.

You can vote by Internet, phone, mail, or by showing up in person at the annual meeting on April 29 in San Francisco.

(Thanks to April for the tip.)

I’m still sitting here in my sweater near Boston, but I’m sure summer will be here before I know it. Here are a couple of events that look ahead to warmer times:

• The MEGA Family Project in Georgia is holding its annual MEGA Family Vacation July 25 to 27, at Tybee Island. You can register until July 21—but you get a bigger discount if you sign up before April 1. Further details are at the MEGA Web site.
• Farther north, the Family Equality Council has opened registration for Family Week in Provincetown, which will run July 26 to August 2.
• Moving west, Rainbow Families Great Lakes will be holding their First Annual Spring Getaway Family Camping Weekend, May 9 to 11, at Camp Talahi in Howell, MI. They will also host their own summer Family Week, July 12 through July 18 in Saugatuck and Douglas, Michigan.

[Updated with Family Week Saugatuck information.]

The sad part about this story is that people will think it’s a joke. It’s not.

Thomas Beatie, profiled in the current issue of Advocate, is transgender, legally male, and legally married to his wife Nancy. Nancy is unable to conceive because of severe endometriosis and a hysterectomy 20 years ago. Thomas has had chest reconstruction and been on testosterone therapy, but kept his reproductive organs. When the couple decided they wanted to have a child, Thomas stopped taking testosterone, and was able to conceive without even needing fertility drugs.

They have not found much support among doctors and other healthcare professionals. They went through nine doctors before finding one to help them. I’ve known butch, but female-identified lesbians who have found it difficult to deal with society’s expectations of what a pregnant person should look like. I can only imagine what Thomas and Nancy are experiencing.

Nevertheless, the universal joy of pending parenthood comes through in Thomas’ words:

How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. . . . I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.

Thomas knows, however, that his family raises larger questions: “our situation ultimately will ask everyone to embrace the gamut of human possibility and to define for themselves what is normal.”

As I see it? Loving parents are normal. Everything else is variable.

Best of luck to Thomas, Nancy, and their growing family.

I rarely pass along a press release wholesale, but this one from COLAGE, about scholarships for children of LGBTQ families, seemed worthy:

Sponsored by COLAGE with generous support from the Horizons Foundation Joseph Towner Fund

COLAGE is pleased to announce a continued partnership with Horizons Foundation to award four $1,000 scholarships to support the undergraduate studies of students who have one or more LGBTQ parent(s)/guardian(s) and have demonstrated ability and commitment to effecting change in the LGBTQ community and the community at large.

The application deadline is Monday, June 2, 2008.

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