Weekly Political Roundup

• The Gay and Lesbian Leadership Institute has partnered with the National Conference of Black Political Scientists to increase the numbers of gay black political leaders. The groups have created the Bayard Rustin Award, named for the openly gay, African American civil rights leader who helped organize the 1963 March on Washington, to honor “outstanding contributions to the field of research on the topic of LGBT African Americans in electoral politics.” NCOBPS will present the first award at its annual conference in 2009.
• Ellen speaks up about the murder of California student Lawrence King. That’s the most political I’ve ever seen her be on her show. Bravo, Ellen.
• For the second time in a week, an LGBT resident of Fort Lauderdale, Florida has been the victim of an apparent hate crime. Read the rest of this post »

Involved, Invisible, Ignored: LGBT Parents and Their Children

The first comprehensive report on LGBT families’ experiences in education, Involved, Invisible, Ignored, has found that LGBT parents are more likely to be involved in their children’s K-12 education than the general parent population. At the same time, both LGBT parents and their children often report harassment because of their family structure.

The report was produced by GLSEN, in partnership with the Family Equality Council and COLAGE. At first glance, the findings seem to jibe with what I would have guessed—which makes it no less important to have this kind of data to support policymaking and drive change. I’m not sure whether to be shocked at how many LGBT families experience harassment or be relieved the numbers aren’t higher. I think I’d need a geographic breakdown to answer that.

The study’s authors note, too, that there may be some limitations to their conclusions because of the way the participants were recruited: through LGBT listservs and other online forums, through LGBT-family summer camps, and through the sponsoring organizations, giving a skew towards families active in the LGBT community. There were also few transgender parents or students, and few students of color.

I’ll offer my further thoughts on the report once I’ve had a chance to digest its 141 pages. In the meantime, below are some highlights from the press release: Read the rest of this post »

The Return of the Penguin

The school superintendent of Loudoun County, Virginia may be changing his mind about removing And Tango Makes Three from elementary school library shelves. He now says he “exceeded the authority” given to him by the school board, reports the Washington Post. Since the challenge to the book only applied to the Sugarland Elementary School, it should only have been removed from shelves there, not at elementary schools throughout the district. Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 17

Vlogging barefoot! Helen and I kick off our shoes and socks this week in honor of the k.d. lang concert we just attended, advise when not to sport a fauxhawk, and then discuss some financial ideas for parents. Thinking about starting a family or already planning for your childrens’ college educations? We share what’s worked for us and explain why the “Bank of Mom” may help instill good money habits in your kids.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

If the Veoh video above isn’t working (sometimes their server can be flaky), you can try it at Daily Motion, though the picture quality isn’t as good there.

(Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.)

Anti-Gay Couple Rejected as Foster Parents

Here’s a situation we wouldn’t see here in the U.S.: A couple in the U.K. was refused permission to become foster parents after they told a panel that their [Christian] belief would prevent them from addressing a child’s homosexuality in a positive light.” The panel rejected their application, citing the recent Sexual Orientation Act that forbids businesses or organizations providing public services to discriminate because of anyone’s sexuality.

This is a tough one. I am vehement that schools teach tolerance for those of all sexual orientations and gender identities. At the same time, I’d support parents’ right to teach their children privately that homosexuality is morally wrong, much as I abhor the thought of them doing so. (I’d draw the line, though, if they were inciting their children to acts of harassment or violence. That would have to be stopped.)

Is this couple’s situation clouded by the fact that they are foster parents, however, and the children are ultimately overseen by a public authority? Is it acceptable for a foster care agency to say “We can’t always predict which children will come out as LGBT, so we can’t risk placing any children with someone who would view that as a negative, causing emotional harm to such children”? I’d be interested in hearing foster parents’ views on the subject.

Do We Really Need This?

Neither my son nor this blog would be here without the benefit of modern technology, and for that (mostly the former), I am grateful. I’m a minimalist when it comes to childcare technology, however, although I’ve found a baby monitor to be a useful gadget. The New York Times, however, takes a look at several new “babytronics” designed to make life easier for new parents and better for their children.

Most had me rolling my eyes. I think a battery-operated nasal aspirator would have freaked out my son to no end. I don’t think an electronic device that helps me track “how long it has been since the baby has gone to sleep, been fed, had her diaper changed or taken her medicine” has much advantage over the pencil and paper I used to track the last of the four. My son was more than willing to inform me when sufficient time had passed since the first three.

My winning pick for the “Most Useless Gadget” award is the LENA System (only $399!), a credit-card sized “language measurement tool” that slips into the front pocket of a specially designed outfit for your child. Several days a month, you use it to record conversation between parent(s) and child, then plug it into your computer so the special software can analyze “how many words you have spoken to your baby, how often your baby responds, and where you match up against the rest of the American population, to ensure your infant is getting that all-important verbal edge on other infants.” Apparently, the system is based on “research demonstrating a correlation between the amount parents talk to their babies during their first three years and their professional success later in life.”

“Yes, I know little Bessie’s going to get into Überelite Nursery Academy. I said 1287 words to her today but Sally only said 1123 to her Johnnie. Too bad he won’t be going to Harvard with her. Maybe he can stuff envelopes for her presidential campaign.”

What are your contenders for most-useless baby products? What are some gadgets you’d like to see invented that would in fact be useful for parents?

Conservatives and Liberals Bond Over Liberal Arts

While we’re on the subject of education, a survey by the new research and advocacy group Common Core shows “a significant proportion of teenagers live in ’stunning ignorance’ of history and literature.” The organization says “The No Child Left Behind Act has increased the amount of time schools devote to basic reading and math skills, squeezing core subjects out of the classroom.” They are working to bring history, literature, civics, language, and the arts back into classrooms.

Bravo, I say. Yes, reading and math form a foundation, but it will remain a skeletal and abandoned one without other subjects to give it color and meaning. I also think there doesn’t always have to be a trade-off between reading/math and the rest of the curriculum. There’s no reason basic reading can’t be taught through selected passages from literature, until a child is ready for full works. Why not even teach math through history and civics, whether to analyze a political campaign (fun with delegates!) or determine just where a general’s military provisioning plans went wrong and what the average winter temperature is in Moscow? (For that matter, why not build a curriculum with lessons on diversity and tolerance woven throughout, using literature, art, and events in history as jumping off points?)

Common Core is an odd mix, though. As the New York Times notes, its founding board includes Antonia Cortese, executive vice president of the American Federation of Teachers, a union often in bed with the Democrats, and its executive director is Lynne Munson, former deputy chairwoman of the National Endowment for the Humanities and former special assistant to Lynne Cheney. Still, it’s caught my attention, and I’ll be keeping an eye on what it does next.

New Free Donor Registry

There’s a new online registry for donor-conceived children, their parents, and sperm, egg, or embryo donors to find each other. Donor Offspring Matches (DOM) has just launched as an alternative to the older Donor Sibling Registry (DSR). DOM has one advantage over DSR, though: it is free, whereas DSR charges $40 per year. Is this a worthwhile bargain? It remains to be seen.

DOM, brand new, doesn’t not have the track record nor the member base of DSR. I noticed that it makes members’ e-mail addresses available to the public, whereas DSR limits such information to registered members, and it does not yet have a stated privacy policy on its site. I therefore wrote to its founder, Rosanna, to ask about the service. She says that for technical reasons, the site went public and word spread before some pieces, like the privacy policy, were in place. She also claims the public e-mail addresses are by user request, although that may change in the future. She adds that DOM will never share any information other than what members make public, and will not sell or share it with third parties. Below is her full e-mail to me, republished with permission.

For the moment, this is neither a recommendation for nor against DOM, merely information. If DOM proves itself reliable, builds its member base, and expands the range of options available to parents, donors, and their offspring, however, then it could become a welcome addition to this community. As always, investigate all such services thoroughly, and consider what finding a match (or not finding one) will mean to you and your family. Read the rest of this post »

The Importance of Play

Children need to play. Oh, that’s obvious, you say—but according to NPR’s Alix Spiegel, children today need more “freewheeling imaginative play,” as opposed to structured enrichment classes or play centered around single-purpose toys. I’ve long felt this; one of the many reasons my son has my 25-year-old Legos rather than today’s versions. (OK, there’s some sentimentalism in there, too.) With the older Legos, for example, you had to build a horse out of cubes and angle-bricks, and could make it yellow or blue if you liked; today, the horse is premolded and precolored. I’d rather give my son a paper towel tube to use as a telescope/flashlight/light saber/car tunnel than buy four separate items. I’m not a purist, but give me a good old fashioned wooden block set over the Bob the Builder “Load and Play” Factory any day.

Television advertising, which began promoting specific toys at the expense of improvised activities, is partly to blame, relates Spiegel, citing Brown University cultural historian Howard Chudacoff. President Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” initiative gets negative marks, too. Yale psychological researcher Dorothy Singer explains, “Because of the testing, and the emphasis now that you have to really pass these tests, teachers are starting earlier and earlier to drill the kids in their basic fundamentals. Play is viewed as unnecessary, a waste of time.”

Worth a full read. I’ll also add that I think the best way to get kids to play with imagination is to get out there and play with them. Pirates on the horizon!

Stories that Must Be Told: Transparent

First, Lawrence King, then Simmie Williams, Jr., gender-nonconforming teens shot to death in the last three weeks. Both shootings appear to be hate crimes. Yet Lawrence King was not the first, as the long list of names honored during the Transgender Day of Remembrance and in the Wikipedia entry for Violence Against LGBT People makes clear.

Gender variance of any sort still scares the bleep out of many, and is often a motivating factor in hate crimes, but we as a society still can’t get our heads around it enough to pass the legislation needed for effective deterrence. Instead, we worry that two loving penguin fathers will teach children the wrong lessons. I wonder if there have been more person-hours spent trying to ban Tango than figuring out effective ways to teach tolerance in schools. For our children’s sake, I hope not.

It is with all this in mind that I recommend Transparent, Cris Beam’s gripping book on transgender teens. It first came out last year, but is just now out in paperback. Part memoir, part investigative reporting, and part passionate advocacy, the work is a brilliant blend of all three. In it, Beam relates the stories of four homeless transgender teens she first met while teaching at a school for LGBT youth in LA. One of them, Christine, became her foster child.

Theirs are not happy stories. Living on the streets, dealing with authorities and parents who don’t understand them, while they struggle to understand themselves, these teens have seen the worst of our country’s fear of those who are different. At the same time, they display the usual teen anxieties about friends, relationships, and futures. Their courage and resourcefulness shine through, however. Although their lives are woven with tragedy, they have found ways to survive.

Beam is clear that she is only showing one small slice of the transgender community. It is an important one, however, for these are America’s children, as much as any others. Beam conveys the need for greater understanding and resources to help these teens and others like them, without ever preaching. She shows us, rather than berates us, but her call is stronger for it. At a time when the need for unity among L, G, B, and T is greater than ever, and when Lawrence King and Simmie Williams, Jr. paid the price for our societal ignorance of gender variance, Transparent is vital reading for parents, educators, advocates, and all those who care about equality, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.