Third Dottie DVD Giveaway

Yes, it’s the third giveaway of Dottie’s Magic Pockets, the first live-action show for children of LGBT families (and their friends). The DVD contains two Dottie episodes, “Doing the Flower” and “Beat Beet.” (You can see a clip here.) Thanks to the folks at the Pink Pea production company for offering this to a Mombian reader.

The DVD will go to the first person who leaves a comment with the correct and complete answers to the following questions. Please note rules and restrictions below.

This week’s theme is LGBT children’s literature. I’ll keep the questions in the same age range (preschool and elementary school) as the Dottie video:

• The penguins of And Tango Makes Three in reality lived at the: a) Central Park Zoo; b) Bronx Zoo; c) Brooklyn Zoo
• In the classic Heather Has Two Mommies, the two moms are called: a) Mommy and Mama b) Mama Kate and Mama Jane; c) Mama Patty and Mama Jo
• In King & King, the protagonist prince’s future sister-in-law is: a) Princess Margaret; b) Princess Madeleine; c) Princess Matilda

Rules and restrictions: U.S. and Canada residents only, please. (The DVD is in Region 1 format, and will likely not play in other countries. Postal costs also make it prohibitive to ship elsewhere.) Don’t worry if your comment is moderated; once I approve it, it will appear based on the time you submitted it. I retain the right to cancel the giveaway if there are any nasty debates about who has the correct answers. If you are or have been a paying advertiser on Mombian, you can’t play. If no one gets the right answers by 11:59 p.m. EST, February 4, 2008, I’ll post an alternate question.

Make sure to leave a valid e-mail address with your comment! (Don’t leave a postal address, though. If you win, I’ll contact you by e-mail about shipping.)

Studying Our Children, from Birth to Adulthood

Dr. Nanette Gartrell is the principal investigator of the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS). “Longitudinal lesbians?” you may ask. Parse it differently, however, and it’s a multi-year, repeated study of a group of lesbian moms and their children, the longest-running and largest investigation of its kind. Dr. Gartrell was kind enough to take time from her work as an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California-San Francisco, her upcoming book launch, and her research, to speak with me about the NLLFS.

Gartrell began the study in 1986, with the goal of following the first wave of lesbian families begun through donor insemination. “We started it at a time when there was no possibility of obtaining any funding, because there were no funding sources then,” Gartrell recalls. “Even now, it’s only possible to get small grants.” She and her small team remained committed, however, to providing information about these families from conception until the children grew up. “Our goals were to describe the experiences of the moms in raising their kids and to report on the effects of choosing to raise children on the moms’ lives, relationships, careers, and activism as lesbians—and of course to report on the growth and development and mental health of the children. It’s already been well established that children raised by lesbian mothers are happy, healthy, and high functioning, but we want to report on our population as well, and then, very importantly, to document the effects of homophobia on these families. Some of the stereotypes are that kids are going to be significantly disadvantaged by growing up in lesbian families, and that’s not the case.” Read the rest of this post »

Explaining LGBT Families

Finally, a sensible answer to the question of explaining LGBT families to young children. A reader of the Seattle Times asks:

How much information is appropriate to give young children (6-8 years) about gay families?

Evidently, my daughter has a gay family in her classroom, and I want her to understand and be tolerant. She asked specifically how a mommy gets a baby with no daddy.

The writer, Jan Faull, gives a direct and appropriate answer: “You need only tell your child that families come in many forms. . . .” She also asks if the parent knows the details of how the same-sex parents created their family, and suggests simple ways of explaining this to young children. Finally, she notes “If you sidestep the question, your child will get the message that you’re uncomfortable and will protect you from further embarrassment by asking someone else.”

Worth reading the whole article, then printing for friends and teachers. You can also write to Faull to thank her for her positive answer at: janfaull@aol.com.

(Thanks to Cathy Renna of Renna Communications for the link.)

First Rainbow List of LGBT-Themed Children’s Books

The GLBT Round Table of the American Library Association has published its first “Rainbow List” of the year’s best LGBT-themed children’s and young adult books. (Since this is the list’s inaugural year, it in fact includes books of the past three years.) Thanks to K. T. Horning of Worth the Trip for making the list available (with permission) even before the ALA has it on their site.

There are some inexplicable exclusions, like The Different Dragon, by Jennifer Bryan, a charming tale of a boy and his cat in search of adventure. (I reviewed it last February.) Still, all of the books that are there are worth a look. Kudos to the ALA for honoring them.

Weekly Political Roundup

• I haven’t been covering the blow-by-blow of the presidential campaigns, but others have. Lisa Keen, in the Bay Area Reporter, has a good summary of the leading candidates’ positions on various LGBT issues and the endorsements they’ve gained. The AP looks at the frustration among many LGBT activists about the lukewarm support for LGBT rights among the major candidates.
• The conservative Arkansas Family Council Action Committee launched a petition drive in support of a law banning unmarried couples from adopting or fostering children.
• Sponsors introduced a bill into the Idaho Legislature to protect employees from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. The chair of the Senate Affairs Committee said, however, that he will probably not schedule a hearing for the bill, effectively killing it. Supporters are still hopeful they can get the votes to move the bill to the floor.
• The Indiana Senate Judiciary Committee gave its approval to a proposed state constitutional amendment that would limit marriage to opposite-sex couples. The House committee chairman has already said he won’t give it a hearing.
• Iowa’s governor says he will do “whatever it takes to protect marriage between a man and a woman,” if the state Supreme Court rules in favor of a lower court decision that struck down the state ban on same-sex marriage. He will urge the legislature to enact a constitutional amendment, even if it means calling a special session to do so. Read the rest of this post »

Tell the NY Post “Evil Lesbian Mom” Is Insulting

Not that I expect fine journalism from the New York Post, but this goes beyond acceptability:

“EVIL LESBIAN MOM LEFT TODDLER TO DIE SLOW DEATH: DA” blares the headline. The story is a tragic one, of child abuse and neglect. A New York mother is accused of abandoning her 23-month-old son to death after he was beaten by her partner. The partner is currently serving a 15-years-to-life prison sentence for the murder.

If the women did what they are accused of, then they indeed they deserve whatever sentence they get for the horrible act. The fact of their being lesbian has nothing to do with it, however, any more than sexual orientation has to do with the many cases of child abuse perpetrated by straight couples. As Terrance said so well in his Poisonous Parenting series:

The point isn’t that heterosexuals hurt children. The point isn’t that gay people hurt children. The point isn’t that being heterosexual automatically makes you a good or bad parent. The point isn’t that being gay automatically makes you a good or bad parent. The point isn’t that being heterosexual automatically makes you a good or bad person. It’s not that being gay automatically makes you a good or bad person.

The point is that we are equal, and that means having equal capacity for good and bad. Because we are equally human.

Update, 7:35p.m.: GLAAD has released a media alert on this one, and notes: “After GLAAD contacted editors at the New York Post, its representatives refused to change the offensive headline on its website.”

GLAAD gives contact information as follows:

Laura Italiano
Reporter
New York Post
laura.italiano@nypost.com

Michelle Gotthelf
Metro Editor
New York Post
mgotthelf@nypost.com

Sure, the Post thinks they can take on evil lesbian moms. Wait until they see what happens when they take on the good ones.

Gay-Straight Alliances at Department of Defense Dependents Schools

Stars and Stripes, the daily newspaper for the U.S. military community overseas, has a fascinating article on the establishment of a Gay-Straight Alliance club at Robert D. Edgren High School, situated at Misawa Air Base in Japan and part of the Department of Defense Dependents Schools-Pacific. Despite some controversy and an investigation of the Department of Defense Education Activity’s procedures for non-curricular clubs, the club now has the green light to go ahead with its activities. The article reports there is also a GSA at Gen. H.H. Arnold High School in Wiesbaden, Germany, part of DODDS-Europe.

The GSA’s are not just for LGBT students, but also for allies and those with questions about sexuality, the article reports. I’ve also always seen them as places where LGBT teens and the children of LGBT parents (not mutually exclusive groups) can work together on issues of mutual concern. On a military base, however, it is unclear whether the children of LGBT parents would want to join a GSA at the risk of outing their parents. This is yet another restriction on the lives of such children, as I discussed further in my recent article (and our vlog) about a lesbian mom in the military. I’m not sure what would be harder: being an LGBT teen with a parent or parents in the military, or being the child of an LGBT servicemember (or both). This is in reality a silly question: each situation has its own issues and hardships stemming from anti-LGBT regulations. None of the children impacted have an easy time of it.

Stars and Stripes is editorially independent, but it is part of the American Forces Information Service, and authorized by the Department of Defense. The fact that GSA’s are starting to appear at DoD schools, and the fact that Stars and Stripes covered them, makes me think the repeal of DADT stands a chance, particularly if we can show that anti-LGBT regulations not only do nothing to maintain unit morale and cohesiveness (see, for example, the case of Sgt. Darren Manzella), but also harm servicemembers’ children, LGBT and not, in many ways.

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 12

This week, Helen and I use Tasha’s storyline on The L Word as an excuse to share the story of an actual LGBT officer raising children with her partner, and to explore the impact of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy on the children of LGBT servicemembers. (Read the full story in my original article.) Helen also talks about her own experience as a military officer, back in the days of the Cold War, and even models her garrison cap.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

(Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.)

If the Veoh video above isn’t working (sometimes their server can be flaky), you can try it at Daily Motion, though the picture quality isn’t as good there.

How Do Our Children Compare?

(Originally published in Bay Windows, January 22, 2008).

Dr. Blase Masini wants to spend time with your family—or at least with data about you. The developmental psychologist and head of the research department at Howard Brown Health Center, a leading LGBT health care organization in Chicago, has launched a nationwide study of LGBT parenting, and hopes more families will participate by completing his online survey. He’s not just an ivory-tower researcher, however: He’s also the gay father of two sons whom he adopted with his partner. This experience, coupled with his professional training, motivates his work. He explains, “My graduate study was in early childhood development. I’ve come to know through the textbook and firsthand experience what it takes to raise kids to be healthy. I am convinced that sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.”

Masini acknowledges the growing body of research on LGBT families, but believes more can be done. He wants to collect empirical data on the development of children in LGBT families so policy makers have better information when it comes to passing legislation. The best approach, he feels, is to do comparisons against existing national data sets of families in general—in this case, a National Survey of Children’s Health conducted by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in 2001, encompassing over 100,000 households. He’s asking many of the same questions as the CDC, and adding a few extra to get at the impact of homophobic discrimination and bullying. “My goal is to get a control group from the national sample, based on like households with the same sort of socioeconomic status and the same geographic area and the same number of children and the same race,” he says.

He will then look at how the family environment and the children’s development compares to national norms. While he intends to promote his study mostly through academic channels, he hopes to partner with someone who has a policy background and can help translate his numbers into something that could be distributed to politicians.

He admits this is only a pilot study, with certain limitations: Read the rest of this post »

Coming Soon: Al’s Guide to a Carbon-Free Wedding

Same-sex marriage is cool. Al Gore says so.

Of course, this pretty conclusively proves he’s not running for president. More’s the pity.