I am lucky that my children have always been there for promotions, and for any official function that we decide to attend….my partner is there when she is available; the down side is that she is recognized as a “friend” when she is so much more. While I look forward to retirement, I have a sadness associated with the event as my partner will not receive the official recognition that is very deserved as simply giving her that recognition would spur an investigation that would mean a loss of all we have sacrificed for.

For now, we endure the required security “sign ins” of my partner every time we enter the gates, the denial of access to the kids if I am not available, as she is a civilian and has “no real need” to enter the base unaccompanied. My partner has a power of attorney, which can only be used in emergency, or upon my deployment. For now, we just try to offer some explaination to the kids of why gays aren’t “good enough” to serve in the open….when we’re good enough to make sacrifices in our personal lives in excess of the heterosexuals we serve beside everyday. The sadest part aren’t the sacrifices I or my family make in the service of our country, it is the misinterpretation of the Constitution . I’m very proud to be a defender of the Constitution….the same document that in a normal society would, under Article 14 allow me to simply be the person God made me to be.

I recently wrote a post about this from the L Word perspective at my blog http://www.coaching4lesbians.com/blog/2008/01/22/the-l-word-season-5-episode-3-the-coachs-perspective/

But it, and even the story line doesn’t even begin to bring home the added conflict and heartbreak of walking this path with children.

All the best to you and your family… and may long overdue change in policy be swift.

Not every American is willing to step up to the plate and say, “Yes, I will defend the honor and freedom of this country, regardless if I agree with the reasons for this fight (read: political reasons). I realize that I may lose my life in this quest, but I will do it!” No, there are very few Americans that are man or woman enough to do this. Yet, some feel that on top of this fight, these Americans that WILL stand and fight, some should and must go even a step further and say, “And while I am risking my life for my fellow soldiers and every free American, and democracy as a whole, let me remind you that who I love does not affect my ability to aim my weapon. Who I love does not alter my Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honest, Integrity, or Personal Courage. No, who I love does not make me any less an American, a soldier, a man/woman, or person who deserves the same opportunities and freedoms of every other American. While I put my life on the line, let I, the gay soldier, remind you all, that I fight for people in other countries to have the very rights that I am forbidden to have in my own country. But fight I will because I am an American Soldier!”

So SteveS, and to any other responder who feels that this soldier is being unfair, or simply that gays and lesbians should not be allowed to serve in the military, look around: are you sitting in a tent in a foreign country? Are you awaiting deployment to said foreign country? Are you man/woman enough to enlist to go fight in these countries? If you are man/woman enough, then why haven’t you? Why don’t you see what it feels like to be in a country where people hate you simply for what you are, not who you are. Then my friend you will know what it feels like to be gay or lesbian in America today!

But to the soldier in the story, and to all soldiers, especially those who serve in silence: HOOAH!!! God speed, and may He watch over us all – gay, straight, whatever!