Comments on: Children Ask, Children Tell

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » How “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Affects Families with Children

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 16:50:48 +0000

[...] had the honor of interviewing a military same-sex couple with children a couple of years ago, and they described even more about the impact of DADT on their children. [...]

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » Action Alert: Call Your Senators on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 16:07:34 +0000

[...] It lays out some very good arguments. And I’ll refer you back to my 2008 interview with an active-duty lesbian mom and her [...]

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » Repealing DADT Is Only the First Step

Mombian » Blog Archive » Repealing DADT Is Only the First Step — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:11:23 +0000

[...] more on LGBT families in the military, see my 2008 interview with an active-duty military officer and her spouse who are raising two children while needing to remain [...]

By: Mombian: Sustenance for Lesbian Moms » Blog Archive » On Memorial Day: Remembering LGBT Military Families

Mon, 25 May 2009 10:03:48 +0000

[...] I interviewed a lesbian mom in the military and her partner last year, they said essentially the same thing. On a related note, more recently, I took a look at the many benefits afforded to the families of [...]

By: Mombian: Sustenance for Lesbian Moms » Blog Archive » Repealing DADT Is Only the First Step

Mon, 11 May 2009 10:00:24 +0000

[...] more on LGBT families in the military, see my 2008 interview with an active-duty military officer and her spouse who are raising two children while needing to remain [...]

By: Ashley

Ashley — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 00:27:05 +0000

I am apalled at what this family has to go thru just to be happy. My hat goes off to the mothers for being strong enough to sacrafice and withstand this trying time. Marriages break-up everyday cheaters, liars, and financial problems. so I will say again that this family has my utmost respect for staying together thruout the test of time. Just hold on a little longer, we will shine oneday!

By: LT C

LT C — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 02:28:41 +0000

As a gay mom with two older kids (15 & 12) I definitely understand the issues faced by the writer. We have lived on base for short periods of time, participated in activities on base, my kids even attend school on base….and no one knows our family secret. This has been very difficult on all of us as we have always instilled the importance of honesty…infact, it is a value that is at the core of my service. We struggle with teaching honesty, while feeling that we are being dishonest just by existing as a family. As I retire in 1 year we have decided that we will endure the keeping of our secret in the hopes that somewhere in the future our “success story” may help resind the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

I am lucky that my children have always been there for promotions, and for any official function that we decide to attend….my partner is there when she is available; the down side is that she is recognized as a “friend” when she is so much more. While I look forward to retirement, I have a sadness associated with the event as my partner will not receive the official recognition that is very deserved as simply giving her that recognition would spur an investigation that would mean a loss of all we have sacrificed for.

For now, we endure the required security “sign ins” of my partner every time we enter the gates, the denial of access to the kids if I am not available, as she is a civilian and has “no real need” to enter the base unaccompanied. My partner has a power of attorney, which can only be used in emergency, or upon my deployment. For now, we just try to offer some explaination to the kids of why gays aren’t “good enough” to serve in the open….when we’re good enough to make sacrifices in our personal lives in excess of the heterosexuals we serve beside everyday. The sadest part aren’t the sacrifices I or my family make in the service of our country, it is the misinterpretation of the Constitution . I’m very proud to be a defender of the Constitution….the same document that in a normal society would, under Article 14 allow me to simply be the person God made me to be.

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Up and Down the Family Tree

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:45:54 +0000

[...] a counterpoint to my piece on the children of LGBT servicemembers, have a read of Deb Price’s piece on the parents of LGBT servicemembers. She rightly says [...]

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » Gay-Straight Alliances at Department of Defense Dependents Schools

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:25:24 +0000

[...] parents. This is yet another restriction on the lives of such children, as I discussed further in my recent article (and our vlog) about a lesbian mom in the military. I’m not sure what would be harder: being [...]

By: Paula G

Paula G — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:20:55 +0000

Wow, thank you for telling such a powerful story. It really breaks my heart to hear all that you have to go through to both be who you are and do what you love.

I recently wrote a post about this from the L Word perspective at my blog http://www.coaching4lesbians.com/blog/2008/01/22/the-l-word-season-5-episode-3-the-coachs-perspective/

But it, and even the story line doesn’t even begin to bring home the added conflict and heartbreak of walking this path with children.

All the best to you and your family… and may long overdue change in policy be swift.