Yes, Season Five of The L Word is upon us, premiering on Showtime January 6 at 9 p.m. EST, but available in advance at Our Chart today, beginning at noon EST. (The online version will, however, be “blurred, bleeped or otherwise abridged” according to creator Ilene Chaiken, who adds “this is not by our choice and has to do with regulations and corporations and limitations in the digital universe.”)

Although the lack of juicy parenting storylines led Helen and me into wild speculation in our last video blog, the fact is that the first episode of the new season does have a major scene involving a fairly common parenting situation—well, common if you take into account its translation into the world of West Hollywood. ‘Nuff said. I won’t post any spoilers. Let’s face it, though: while it’s nice to see representations of lesbian moms doing parental things, that’s not really why we watch the show, is it?

In honor of the new season and the new year, I’m giving away a shrink-wrapped, four-disc boxed set of The L Word - The Complete Fourth Season, courtesy of Showtime, to the first person who leaves a comment with the correct answers to all of the following three questions. Please note rules and restrictions below.

1. In 2007, what TV series honored the departure of a lesbian mom after the character’s twelfth year on the show?
2. Three well-known actresses, each identified in some way with lesbian moms, all attended Yale University. Name them. (First and last names.)
3. What real lesbian-mom couple, prominent in the world of technology, is referenced by the name of a minor character in the first episode of The L Word, Season Five? (Please give the first and last names of the character and both real-life partners.)

Rules and restrictions: U.S. and Canada residents only, please. (The DVD is in Region 1 format, and will likely not play in other countries. Postal costs also make it prohibitive to ship elsewhere.) Don’t worry if your comment is moderated; once I approve it, it will appear based on the time you submitted it. I retain the right to cancel the giveaway if there are any nasty debates about who has the correct answers. If no one gets the right answers by 11:59 p.m. EST, January 15, 2008, I’ll post an alternate set of questions.

Make sure to leave a valid e-mail address with your comment! (Don’t leave a postal address, though. If you win, I’ll contact you by e-mail about shipping.)

Thanks to all who participate, and thanks to all of you for stopping by Mombian in 2007. I hope you’ll be back in 2008.

(Full disclosure: Our Chart is a paying advertiser on Mombian.)

What are some of your wishes for the coming year: personal, familial, professional, or political?

For me: I wish for family stability. An interstate move last year (and six months of living apart from Helen during the week while we tried to sell our old house) was enough upheaval for a while. I wish to see our son continue to grow and learn and explore. I wish for Helen and I to make the right decisions regarding his kindergarten. I wish to develop Mombian further without sacrificing family time (or sleep, although I suspect that’s the loser of the three). I want a Democrat to win the presidential election. I want Jodie Foster to make a surprise guest appearance on The L Word (or, alternatively, to show up with Cydney and the kids at Family Week in P-town). And world peace. Can’t forget that one.

You?

Originally published in Bay Windows, December 20, 2007 (online); December 27, 2007 (print).

Was 2007 a good year for LGBT parents and our children? Politically, it was a mixed bag. Here are some highlights.

In Massachusetts, we stopped marriage equality from going to the ballot. New Hampshire and Oregon approved relationship-recognition measures to give same-sex couples all the rights of marriage except the name. Washington approved a more limited set of relationship benefits. These laws, among other things, should make it easier for couples with children to be recognized as parents — though they should consult their attorneys, as GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders) recommends, to ensure other states will honor their parenthood as well. Progress of a sort; but also a strong reminder of the difficulties our families still face across state lines. On the negative side, the Maryland Court of Appeals used the historical link between marriage and procreation as the primary reason for upholding the state ban on same-sex marriage.

The year did see progress specific to adoption rights. Colorado and Maine legalized second-parent adoptions, by legislation and judicial ruling, respectively, and Tennessee’s Attorney General issued an opinion that neither the state constitution nor laws prevents same-sex couples from adopting. A US Circuit Court ruled that an Oklahoma law preventing same-sex couples from getting birth certificates for children adopted in other states violates the US Constitution. On the other hand, the Arkansas Attorney General approved an initiative to ban unmarried couples from adopting or fostering. Supporters must now gather enough signatures to put the initiative on the November 2008 ballot. Read more »

A very merry Christmas to those of you celebrating it this week.

Posting will be light for a few days, as we’ll be doing some celebrating of our own here at Mombian HQ. I also suspect many of you will be busy assembling train sets and dollhouses and searching for extra D-cell batteries and dealing with your in-laws (or out-laws, as we used to refer to ours before we moved to Massachusetts and married) rather than reading blogs, anyway.

May the holiday be a time of joy for your family, whether you are honoring old traditions or creating your own.

Yes, we’re parents, and we’re busy. That’s reason enough to be stuck with last-minute shopping. Here are a few ideas to get you through. I’ve stuck with gifts for grown-ups (though some may work for kids, too), since children have usually told us way in advance what they want, and any parent celebrating Christmas who hasn’t already gotten presents for the young ones is in way more trouble than I can solve here.

• Gift certificates to Amazon or other online merchant of your choice. They will e-mail the recipient all they need. (Be warned, however, that Amazon (among others) will send the e-mails within 15 minutes of your order—so don’t buy too early if you want them to arrive on Christmas day. If you send the certificate with an e-card, you can specify the arrival day in advance, but cannot choose the time.)
• Homemade certificates for a nice dinner, or a night off, or the like. A little clip art and a color printer, and you’ll have an updated version of a classic I used to make for my mom when I was a kid.
• Baked goods. When in doubt, make a batch of cookies. This may not work for significant others or children expecting toys, but may do the trick with friends and more distant relatives.
• A “food of the month club” membership, e.g., from Peet’s Coffee & Tea or Artisanal Premium Cheese. Go to the supermarket, purchase one of the items to wrap, and don’t worry if the rest takes a few weeks to get started. (Yes, this still means getting out of the house to shop, but at least it’s not the mall.)
• Magazine subscriptions. As with the food clubs, buy one copy to wrap and give, and let the rest arrive when they will.
• Champagne and a bubble bath. For significant others only.

Any other suggestions?

Harlyn Aizley, author of Buying Dad and editor of Confessions of the Other Mother, both books that deserve a place on any lesbian mom’s bookshelf, will no longer be writing her Are You My Mothers? blog for Parents.com. She was fired by Parents.com’s parent company, Meredith Corporation, ostensibly because her blog did not generate enough traffic. Aizley gives us her own take on the numbers, and also suggests that more than numbers were at work (as does fellow writer Sara Whitman). Business decision or a case of cold feet by a mainstream publication that had gone out on a limb bringing a lesbian mom on board?

I’d love Parents.com to bring Aizley back, if she’d even speak to them after this rebuff. If not, I look forward to reading her elsewhere. (One additional benefit of a new home: an RSS feed, which Parents.com does not offer for their blogs. That always made me doubt their commitment to this whole blogging business in the first place.) For the moment, Aizley will be posting on the Family Equality blog, where I have also been asked to be a guest blogger. Welcome, Harlyn! I’m glad you’ll be joining us, though I wish it were under happier circumstances.

• Senators Gordon Smith (R-OR) and Joe Lieberman (ID-CT) introduced legislation in the Senate to provide federal health benefits, including the Family and Medical Leave program, long term care, insurance, and retirement benefits, to the domestic partners of federal employees. The workers and their partners would then be subject to the same obligations as married employees and spouses, such as anti-nepotism rules and financial disclosures.
• A federal budget bill cuts the HIV prevention budget of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and includes only a small increase in money for Ryan White programs, a major funder of AIDS services. Michael Crawford at Bilerico has more.
• Not LGBT-exclusive news, but a “wave of states” is refusing federal money for “abstinence-only” sex education programs as evidence increases that such programs are ineffective. (Thanks, PageOneQ.)
• Both supporters and opponents of a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage in Florida are gearing up for a big fight.

Read more »

Last week, Jennifer Davis and her partner Andrea Pisanello were shot and killed in Largo, Florida, and Davis’ four-year-old daughter and two-year-old son were shot and killed in nearby Clearwater by Davis’ former husband, Oliver Bernsdorff, whom she had divorced in August. He is the children’s father, and had retained custody of them. Bernsdorff shot himself to death after killing the others.

There is no evidence so far of homophobia as a motivating factor, which makes the events no more or less tragic. Murdering children is beyond horrific. Bernsdorff was thus clearly unstable enough that it’s easy to imagine he would have done the same had Davis gone on to a relationship with a man, or even remained single.

The media is being coy about Davis and Pisanello’s relationship, however. The Largo police were direct, but abrupt: “Our investigators believe that the two victims lived together as a couple and were involved in a relationship. Further comments will not be made in reference to their relationship.” One article simply calls Pisanello “another woman” found at Davis’ house, and the AP goes for the classic “roommate.” Come on, folks. A little respect please. The media would have no hesitation saying “boyfriend” if that was the case.

My condolences to both Davis and Pisanello’s family and friends.

(Thanks, PageOneQ.)

Florida is gearing up for a fight over a “Marriage Protection Amendment” that looks likely to be on the November 2008 ballot. Supporters of the amendment say it is needed to “prevent children from being raised in homosexual families.” They might want to note some new statistics:

• 17% of same-sex couples in Florida are raising children under the age of 18.
• As of 2005, an estimated 17,010 of Florida’s children are living in households headed by same-sex couples.
• 1.2% of Florida’s adopted children (or 962 children) live with a lesbian or gay parent.

(Census Snapshot: Florida (PDF link), The Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law)

What’s next? Shipping over 17 thousand children elsewhere, crated up like oranges?

In this edition of our weekly video blog, brought to you in partnership with After Ellen, Helen and I step into an alternate universe and imagine what the upcoming season of The L Word might be like if parenting (but not pregnant lesbians or sperm) played a larger role. Bette with mashed peas on her suit? Angelica as a famous child artist? A theme song by two children’s television icons to replace the current one by Betty? Helena’s kids, anywhere, for more than 30 seconds? Jenny, near children? Maybe not. Plus Legos, laughter, and lyrics about linoleum!

Online Videos by Veoh.com

If the Veoh video above isn’t working (sometimes their server can be flaky), you can try it at Daily Motion, though the picture quality isn’t as good there.