A new study of families in the Netherlands indicates children raised by lesbian couples “do not differ in well being or child adjustment compared with their counterparts in heterosexual-parent families.” This is consistent with the findings of many American medical organizations. More interestingly, the study found:
Lesbian biological mothers were significantly more satisfied with their partners as a co-parent than were heterosexual mothers. The partners of lesbian biological mothers “are more committed as parents than are heterosexual fathers, that is, they display a higher level of satisfaction with their partner as co-parent and spend more time on child care and less on employment.” Lesbian couples were significantly higher on strength of desire to have children than were heterosexual couples. There were significant differences in the division of family tasks, with both of the lesbian partners spending more time on household work and childcare, and less time at work outside the home, than the heterosexual fathers. The differences between lesbian mothers and heterosexual fathers seemed to reflect known differences between women and men as parents rather than reflecting parents’ sexual orientations.
Robert-Jay Green, director of Rockway Institute, a national center for research and public policy on LGBT issues, says the study begs the question “Will gay fathers’ parenting styles turn out to be more like those of heterosexual fathers, heterosexual mothers, or some combination?” and plans to investigate that in the future. Might I also suggest looking at bi and transgender parents, who could lend further shades to the parenting spectrum?
All very true in my case.
Me, too, Smurf Mom.
I just read about this on PageOneQ, and looked to see more. Amazingly, the “National Association for Research & Therapy of Homoxexuality” a pseudo-scientific anti-gay organization, published a rebuttal to the study right away (at narth.com/docs/phelanrev.html). A repugnant echo chamber.
Harsh words, maybe, but of course our own experience confirms the Dutch study and gives the lie to the NART critique. Pfffffft.
It makes sense to me. I would like to see studies along a broader spectrum.
Here’s another one for you–adult children of parents who spent a good deal of their life in the closet (maybe even came out after kid was grown up) vs. adult children of out parents.
Okay one last point. In our case, the reason why I spend less time on employment (as a “Lesbian Social Mom,” or LSM) is by choice. It is damned hard to manage, financially, but I want to be home with our kids. So does my partner. So we both scrimp and juggle and pull our hair out to do so. We need just as much $ to live on than any ol’ hetero couple. It’s just that neither of us is hampered by any conditioning that we are supposed to contributed to the family in any one particular way (e.g. by “supporing” it via work outside the home). Lots of very gratified Stay At Home Dads agree that there is more than one way to parent.
I should also point readers to my interview of Dr. Abbie Goldberg of Clark University, who looked at couples’ satisfaction with parenting and found a great deal of it had to do with their expectations going in to it. Most partners divided their roles evenly and were happy that way, but they could be satisfied with an imbalance in roles as long as they had agreed to it in the first place.
I found that article very interesting. Thanks, Dana.