StethoscopeI was going to ask readers to take the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) survey of parents, which they’re conducting “to keep our products as up-to-date and informative as possible.” I wanted to make sure the AAP has plenty of input from LGBT parents on questions like “Please think back to when you were a parent for the first time. What were you most concerned about?” and “If you read or purchase a book on child care, what helps you to decide upon a particular book?” Some of our answers will be the same as those of non-LGBT parents, but some will be LGBT specific. (I always find LGBT inclusiveness to be a plus in a childcare book, for example.)

Then I completed the survey, and my goal for this post changed. Here are the two questions that did it:

  • Marital status: [ ] single [ ] married [ ] divorced
  • Gender: [ ] male [ ] female

I’m sure you can see where this is headed. Many LGBT folks have tripped over the first question on some form or other, and many have also stumbled on the second. Now, the AAP has long supported co-parent and second-parent adoption by same-sex parents. I want to acknowledge their support even while suggesting they make their survey more inclusive. At the end of the survey, we are instructed to contact their Director of Market Research, Susan Dollman (sdollman@aap.org), if we have any questions or comments. I just did so, and urge you to do the same. Here’s what I wrote—feel free to copy:

Dear Ms. Dollman:

I just completed the AAP Survey of Parents, and have two suggestions:

For the question:
  Marital status: [ ] single [ ] married [ ] divorced
would you please add “partnered” and “civil unioned” to include those parents in same-sex relationships in states where we cannot marry?

Also, for the question:
  Gender: [ ] male [ ] female
would you please add “transgender,” “intersex,” and “queer” to be more inclusive of various gender identities?

Many thanks to the AAP for being supportive of LGBT families in the past. I look forward to your continued support and your valuable advice for all parents.