Evaluating Schools: Levels of Inclusion

I’ve been evaluating preschools for my son over the past few weeks. As part of my discussions with teachers and administrators, I always mention that we’re a two-mom family, and ask “Is this going to be a problem for anyone here?” I don’t expect anyone would ever come right out and say “yes”—we’re in a pretty liberal area of the country and not looking at any schools tied to conservative religious denominations. Even so, there is a range of reaction that gives me some sense of how positive the environment will be. Responses seem to fall into three broad types: Read the rest of this post »

And Now a Word from Our Allies

A few recent words from non-LGBT parents about LGBT families:

• Actor Sarah Jessica Parker says her four-year-old son has been asking her what it means to be gay, since the family has many gay friends. Parker explains:
  

  When talking around your child you have to think very carefully and you have to be prudent about you’re choice of words. You talk about people looking for happiness and fulfilment in their lives and how all families are different and look different.

  You’re forced to really consider your answers. You’re forced to think a lot about what you’re saying and how you’re saying it – even the tone.

  (Ignore the sensational headline, “Sarah Jessica Parker gives four-year-old son gay lessons”; I’m sure Parker didn’t write it.) Read the rest of this post »

Mary and Heather Have a Boy

Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, and her partner Heather Poe welcomed their son Samuel David Cheney into the world this morning. He weighed eight pounds, six ounces, thus ending my short-lived “guess his vital statistics” game.

I’ve written several times before about Mary Cheney and will do so again. I’ll avoid writing anything more about her today, though, because regardless of what I think of her, I wish her the same as I would any new mother: peaceful time with her now-expanded family. It would just be bad karma to criticize her today.

I will, however, make a few comments on media coverage of the event: The White House released a careful photo of Dick and Lynne Cheney with the baby. The media is showing this, along with older photos of Mary and Heather, but none of the two moms with the baby. This is so obviously a concession to the ultra-right as to be laughable. Read the rest of this post »

Why Every Parent Should Have a Vegan Cake Recipe

There’s been some debate lately over whether a vegan diet is good for children. I’ll leave the answer to that in the hands of those with better nutritional expertise than I have. Still, I believe every parent, even those of us who aren’t vegan, should have at least one vegan cake recipe in her or his repertoire, for three reasons:

• Who hasn’t run out of eggs at least once when you’ve needed them?
• Kids love to lick batter from cake bowls, and this way you don’t have to worry about them ingesting raw egg;
• Even if your children are allergy-free, they may have friends allergic to eggs or dairy. (If your own children have allergies, you’re probably way ahead of me in the egg-free, dairy-free recipe collection.)

Here’s a recipe I like for vegan chocolate cake. It’s a slight tweak on one in the new Joy of Cooking. You might also want to check out Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, both the blog and the book. (Thanks to Rachel at ParentDish.) Read the rest of this post »

Mary-and-Heather Baby Guessing Game

Mary Cheney, lesbian daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, and her partner Heather Poe are expecting the birth of their son any day now. Back when I worked in the corporate world, someone would always start an office pool when a colleague was expecting. Height, weight, gender (if unknown)—all were fair game. I’m not sure why we did this, except that it was easier than a trip to Atlantic City or Vegas.

I offer you this thread, therefore, to submit your guesses as to the height, weight, and name of Mary and Heather’s bundle of joy. (We know it’s a boy, so no guessing on that.) I’ll name winners in each category as well as those who were closest across the board. No cash prizes, I’m afraid, only adulation for your prognosticating prowess.

Gay Starfall Founder Running for Congress

I wrote a few months ago about Starfall.com, the great free site for pre-reading and early reading games. Queerty reports today that one of Starfall’s founders, Jared Polis, is running for Congress from Colorado. If elected, he would be the state’s first openly gay representative.

I know nothing about Polis or his policies (Polis-ies?) beyond what’s on his Web site, but was struck by the happy coincidence of a gay man founding (with his parents) a (non-LGBT) children’s site I’ve long adored. Polis is a former chair of the Colorado State Board of Education, which explains his interest in children’s learning. I didn’t know he was gay (though it was no secret) until I read the news of his campaign. This just goes to show that sexual orientation matters not a whit when it comes to educating children. What does matter is that Polis embodies this point very publicly. Let’s hope that being out of the closet means he’s one of those rare politicians with no skeletons left there.

Georgia Girl Returned to Lesbian Mom

Sometimes there are happy endings. The ACLU reports:

After almost three months, a seven-year-old girl has been reunited with the woman in whose care she’d thrived for almost a year before being sent to live in a crowded foster home. The child had been held in foster care by the Wilkinson County Division of Family and Children Services (DFCS) since February 20, when a judge took her away from her home after he learned that she was being raised by a lesbian. . . .

Although Emma’s biological mother told the court that she wished for the child to be raised and adopted by Hadaway, Wilkinson County Superior Court Judge John Lee Parrott ordered that the child be taken away from her home when he learned that Hadaway is a lesbian. DFCS agreed that the biological mother’s wishes should be honored, and Emma was reunited with Elizabeth on Friday.

Of course, this is not only an end to a tragic case, but also a new beginning for Emma and Elizabeth. My thoughts go out to Emma as she readjusts to life with her mother and tries to process the past three months. I wish them peace and healing.

(Hat tip, PageOneQ.)

More Biological Exuberance

Following the feathered footsteps of penguins Silo and Roy and swans Romeo and Juliet (both female), flamingos Carlos and Fernanado are the latest same-sex avian pair to try parenthood.

According to UK Gay News, the couple had stolen eggs before in order to raise chicks. This time, staff at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust at Slimbridge in Gloucestershire gave them an egg from an abandoned nest, and encouraged them to look after it. The chick is now doing well under the care of its dads.

One researcher has said same-sex animal pairs are examples of “biological exuberance.” I say flamingos—in all their pink, feathered glory—are a perfect symbol for the upcoming, exuberant season of gay pride. Here’s to the happy family!

Reminder: Please Take My Blog Survey

Thanks to those of you who have already taken my Blog Reader Project survey. If you haven’t, I hope you will consider doing so. It is completely anonymous, and will give me (and potential advertisers) a better sense of who you are and what you’d like to see here. Your data (but not your actual identities) will be compiled with data from other blogs to create an overall picture of the blogosphere. I urge you to complete the survey so lesbian moms (and the rest of you, who presumably have some interest in what lesbian moms are up to) have our interests and needs counted.

The folks at BlogAds who are organizing the Project note “You may want to warn readers that the survey is long, BUT they can bail anytime after the first page. (Once they hit drinks questions, they’re almost home and deserve a drink.) The survey takes about 12 minutes.” I hope you complete the whole thing, but if you only have a few minutes, please do as much as you can. Thanks!

Click here to begin the survey.

Know Your Market: Why IKEA Rocks

As regular readers know, my family and I moved last month. My partner and I have in fact moved seven times in the fourteen years we’ve been together, and we’ve settled into a pattern: visit Home Depot a dozen times in the first month at our new home, and then set off on the first of several trips to IKEA.

We are both unashamed IKEA fans. We love their kid-friendliness, contemporary style, clever details, and of course the low prices. (And no, they’re not paying me to say that.) It’s also a great place to be a dyke. There are more LGBT families per square foot than almost any place but an R Family cruise. You get to feel burly loading all your furniture into the car, and then break out your tools to assemble it when you get home. (Yes, most of their stuff goes together with only the included IKEA wrench, but who doesn’t like an excuse to wear a tool belt? Besides, as I noted in my IKEA Assembly Tips, sometimes you need a few extra gadgets to do the job right.)

The Swedish giant is also good for relationship building. If you’re taking up with a new love, make sure the first thing you bring over (after the toothbrush) is an unassembled IKEA Expedit bookcase. If you’re still on speaking terms after you put it together, you know you have a keeper. If not, don’t bother unpacking the rest of the U-Haul.

Kudos to IKEA, too, for having their TV ad “Living Room” nominated for the Commercial Closet 2007 Images in Advertising Award. They’re one of two nominees that depict LGBT parents in their ads. TIME magazine is the other, with a print ad showing two moms and a baby, and the line “Are gay families different? (Other than making the statement ‘Go ask your mother’ twice as complicated.) TIME. Know why.”

Now if only R Family offered a trip to Sweden so we could visit the fount of all IKEAness. . . .

(Thanks to National Gay News for the ad-award tip.)