The Different Dragon: A Magical Book for All Families

(Originally published in Bay Windows, February 22, 2007.)

One of the ways I judge a children’s book is by how much it captures my son’s imagination. After we read The Different Dragon, he made me run around the house with a blanket over my head, flapping it like dragon’s wings, while he pretended to be the boy in the story. We had a winner.

The book is a story about storytelling. The protagonist, Noah, is a little boy who weaves a bedtime tale of magic and dragons with his mother, Go-Ma. Go-Ma happens to be one of his two mothers, but that’s not the point of the story—or perhaps the point is that it’s not the point. Part of the beauty of the book is that it’s not “about” being an LGBT family per se, except to the extent that being an LGBT family means playing with blocks, putting on pajamas, and telling bedtime stories. As the author, Jennifer Bryan, elaborated for me: “I was tired of reading GLBT books that ‘explained’ or ‘defended’ our type of family. Those books have served an important purpose, but I wanted to read a book to my kids that is FUN and MAGICAL, a great story, with beautiful illustrations—and the fact that the protagonist has two moms is incidental to the tale.” Read the rest of this post »

The L Word Season Four, Episode Seven: The Parenting Perspective

(Minor spoilers below.)

Shane is livin’ la vida loco parentis this week. Her nine-year-old brother Shay and his friend Jared got into a fight with some kids who teased them about their moms being gay. Shane and Jared’s mother Paige meet with the school principal, and argue that the school must teach kids not to use “gay” as an insult. The principal admits he doesn’t know how to talk about the issue, and Paige volunteers herself and Shane to do so.

In a subsequent scene, we see parents and students both attending the diversity training. After some opening comments from the facilitator about tolerance, a mother stands up and asks if they’re going to talk about sex: “How detailed are we planning on getting here?” Shane and Paige respond in calm and reasoned tones to that and the rest of the questions.

As Scribe Grrrl points out at After Ellen, the scene is full of clichés and predictability. The mother’s fear is remarkably similar, however, to those of certain real parents in Massachusetts and New Jersey, who are up in arms about materials used to discuss LGBT families in the classroom. Read the rest of this post »

Interview with Anne S. Wynne of Atticus Circle

Straight allies are an invaluable component of the struggle for LGBT equality. Anne S. Wynne is the founder of Atticus Circle, an organization that educates and mobilizes straight allies in support of equal rights for LGBT Americans and our families.

Anne agreed to answer some questions about her organization for Mombian’s interview series. Below, she talks about her journey towards creating Atticus Circle, the group’s ongoing work with other LGBT organizations, getting straight people involved who have never before spoken out on LGBT issues, and why you should ask your straight friends and relatives to join.

Anne has a background in both family law and politics. She met her husband, Fred Ellis, while they were working on Ann Richards campaign for Governor of Texas. Governor Richards appointed her as the first woman to serve on the General Services Commission and later the Texas Transportation Commission. Anne is a family law attorney and partner in the law firm Ikard Wynne & Ratliff LLP. She is also the mother of three children, Alex, Hallie and Lila. Read the rest of this post »

Kool-Aid Paint

For an easy, non-toxic kids’ paint, try mixing a package of Kool-Aid with half the recommended amount of water. It paints like watercolor and smells nice, too.

There are more complex recipes online for a thicker Kool-Aid paint, involving flour and oil, good for finger painting or potato stamping. I like the water-only version, however, because it works well in a bingo bottle—a little squeeze bottle with a sponge-applicator tip that reduces mess. (You can find these at school supply stores or craft stores.)

(Thanks to my son’s storygroup teacher at our local library.)

Queercents Launches Money Mondays Tax Tips

The team at the Queercents personal-finance blog has just announced the launch of a weekly tax-time series called Money Mondays:

In ten weekly articles, Allison Einbinder will help LGBT readers navigate the intricate tax world with topics ranging from hiring a tax professional to planning for retirement. The articles aim to provide guidance with clear and concise information. The tips and hints should make life less stressful this tax season.

I’m all for anything that makes life less stressful. The first two installments are Should You Hire a Tax Pro? and Choosing A Tax Professional Is No Longer a Coin Flip. Both are worth a read.

For the benefit of readers not as familiar with LGBT-finance issues, I’ll point out that even in the few states that allow same-sex couples to file joint tax returns (including Massachusetts, where same-sex marriage is legal), these couples must file federal tax forms as “single.” Personally, I think TurboTax should include a big “Gay” checkbox (or maybe a big pink button) that would automatically generate the right filings. (Or maybe a pro is the way to go. Read Queercents and decide for yourself.)

Kids’ Toys from the Hardware Store: Flashlights

Flashlights are natural kids’ toys. I’ve never known a child not to be fascinated with the power of shining a spot on the wall. You can buy any number of character-branded ones, but I’ve found that plain but colorful 6″ AA plastic lights are just as attractive to kids. Here are a few activity ideas:

• Go camping—even if it’s just under a sheet-covered kitchen table.
• Dance. My son’s music teacher has a basket of lights she hands out during the soft songs. The children love shining them on the walls of the darkened room in time to the music.
• Make shadows. Lay the flashlight on a table, pointed at a blank wall. Use this free copy of a charming 19th-century book, Hand Shadows to be Thrown upon a Wall, to guide you (though the classic two-fingered “bunny ears” may be enough to amuse most toddlers).
• Soothe fears. Sometimes the comfort of a small light is enough to scare away ghosts.
• Cover the end of the flashlight with red cellophane or an uninflated red balloon to go stargazing. The red light won’t ruin your night vision.
• Layer different colored balloons over the flashlight end to teach your child about color mixing.
• For older kids in groups, try any one of the flashlight games from this English scout site.

Read the rest of this series.

Congratulations to New Jersey Civil-Union Couples

A very hearty congratulations to the couples in New Jersey who applied for civil-union licenses today, the first day they are legal.

I wrote at length last week about the Freedom to Marry, and why civil unions mark a stage in the journey, but not the final destination. I’ll refer you to those posts for the political angle. For this post, I’ll simply offer my wishes that all of the same-sex couples uniting in New Jersey this week and in the future enjoy lifetimes of happiness together.

Recipe: Cardamon-Almond Biscotti

Since I mentioned cooking yesterday, here’s a recipe for Cardamon-Almond Biscotti. It’s based on the “Classic Biscotti” recipe from Joy of Cooking, but with quite a few flavor tweaks. I was inspired both by Shuna Fish Lydon’s Cardamon Chocolate Chunk Cookies (though I make no claims to her mastery of pastry) and by the great cardamon-and-almond-studded rice puddings of India.

Saying “I made biscotti” somehow sounds more impressive than “I baked cookies,” though they’re really no harder. There’s one extra step of cutting them up for the second bake, but it’s a simple process. Give them a try! Read the rest of this post »

New York Times Weekend Roundup

The venerable paper had a number of articles of interest yesterday:

• “With One Word, Children’s Book Sets Off Uproar“: This year’s Newbery Medal-winning book, The Higher Power of Lucky, contains the word “scrotum” in it. It’s in reference to a dog who gets bitten on that rather tender piece of his anatomy, but some parents and librarians want the book banned (probably including the people who changed the name of The Vagina Monologues to The Hoohah Monologues on a theater marquee in Florida).
• “Psst! Ask for Donor 1913“: Sperm donors make the news for the second time this week, in a rather fluffy article about women searching for the “perfect” donor. In response to increasing demands for information prior to sale, the Times reports, sperm banks are disclosing more and more about their donors. Some might say this is a good thing, but the Times doesn’t explore any of the ramifications of either disclosure or confidentiality, nor what such quests for perfection say about our societal ideals (how relevant are SAT scores, really?).
• “Civil Unions Begin in New Jersey“: The Times rightly honors this occasion with a fairly positive article in its Wedding & Celebrations section, though they do feel the need to quote someone from the Conservative Party of New York on the whole “one man-one woman” thing. They do, however, ask pointedly enough “But is a wedding a wedding if it’s not a marriage?” and quote several same-sex couples on their mixed feelings about the unions.
• “The L Word: Leftward, Ho?” is not about the hit lesbian TV show, but rather about the liberal “resurgence” in the U. S. I found it interesting that the Times chose to use “The L Word” as part of its headline, indicating an assumption that a good part of its readership would get the reference. Or maybe they didn’t, and there’s just a dyke on the editorial staff having a good chuckle. (Addendum: The paper iteslf says “The L World,” but the online version says “The L Word.” Maybe there’s a dyke on the tech staff.)

Who’s the Cook?

The New York Times ran an article on Valentine’s Day about couples where one member is the predominant— and dominating—cook in the household. The story focuses on straight couples, but it made me laugh with recognition. I freely admit to being the “alpha chef” around our house. I think it’s less because of any hidden domestic urges and more because I have a secret desire to be on Iron Chef.

Any other couples among my readers who share this dynamic about cooking? Is one of you the boss in the kitchen, even if you share equally in other areas? Does the other person resent it? What happens when you try to cook something together? Has the balance shifted since you’ve had kids?

Turning to the world of lesbian professional chefs, who are surely the kitchen bosses in their homes, Curve magazine has a feature article this month (not yet online) about a few rising stars. And if you’re a fan of food blogs and haven’t yet discovered pastry-chef Shuna Fish Lydon’s Eggbeater, you really should. Finally, Iron Chef and lesbian mom Cat Cora has just become the new spokesperson for U.S. Farm-Raised Catfish. Maybe I’ll go blacken some on the grill tonight in her honor. Stand back, honey.