Merry Christmas!

A very merry Christmas to those of you celebrating it today. I offer you, as a special holiday present, my own lesbian-mom version of a classic holiday tune:

I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Claus

I saw Mommy kissing Mrs. Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy tickle Mrs. Claus
Right beside our tree of sparkling light
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Mama had only seen
Mommy kissing Mrs. Claus last night.

May you and your families create your own traditions to blend with the best of the old.

On Things Dismal and Gay

Two items of news today caught my eye:

• Pope Benedict XVI referred to arguments for recognition of same-sex relationships as “dismal theories.”
• The New York Blade recapped a UCLA study (cited in my Weekly Political Roundup last week) claiming “New Jersey florists, caterers, hotels and other businesses would bring in more than $100 million in additional revenue per year if the state allowed gay couples to marry there.”

I was going make a crack that economics being “the dismal science,” this would seem to indicate the pope is right, what with recognition of same-sex relationships stimulating the economy.

I discovered, however, that “dismal science” was first used by nineteenth-century historian Thomas Carlyle to denigrate the views of those who supported the emancipation of slaves. As two modern professors of economics explain: “It was this fact—that economics assumed that people were basically all the same, and thus all entitled to liberty—that led Carlyle to label economics ‘the dismal science.’” Maybe, therefore, the pope is closer in spirit to Carlyle when he refers to “dismal theories.”

What made me really laugh, however, was the sentence in which Carlyle first used his famous phrase: “Not a ‘gay science,’ I should say, like some we have heard of; no, a dreary, desolate, and indeed quite abject and distressing one; what we might call, by way of eminence, the dismal science.”

This means we have the pope equating things “gay” and “dismal,” and Carlyle, similarly arguing against the idea of liberty for all, contrasting them. Carlyle means “gay” in a different sense, of course—but the juxtaposition of the two terms again gave me a chuckle. (It’s possible that doing last-minute holiday shopping with a three-year-old has addled my brain.)

With that, I’ll leave you to don your gay apparel for the holidays.

Weekly Political Roundup

No pre-Christmas slowdown in LGBT news:

• Alaska governor Sarah Palin will comply with a state Supreme Court order to offer health and retiree benefits to same-sex partners of state employees. At the same time, “she supports denying those benefits through a constitutional amendment, if that’s what the public wants,” and signed a bill calling for an advisory vote on the issue. Makes me wonder if LGBT cruise lines will curtail their journeys to the state if a ban moves forward.
• The California State Supreme Court agreed to hear an appeal by same-sex couples and the city of San Francisco on the legality of same-sex marriage. A state appellate court ruled in October that the state can ban same-sex marriage as long as it grants substantially equal rights to same-sex couples who register as domestic partners.
• The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court cannot force the Legislature to vote on whether to put a same-sex marriage on the ballot, acknowledged people on both sides. A lawyer for Governor Mitt Romney, who supports the ballot initiative, “conceded that the court could not force the Legislature to take a vote, but said the justices could pressure lawmakers to act by spelling out the intentions of the constitutional provision that permits citizen initiatives.”
• New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine, as expected, signed the Civil Union bill into law, making New Jersey the third state (after Vermont and Connecticut) to do so. The law will take effect in 60 days, giving “unionized” couples all of the more than 800 state rights, protections and responsibilities of married couples—except for the right to call themselves “married.” New Jersey will also create a three-year study commission to decide whether to allow same-sex marriage. I think Steve Goldstein, head of Garden State Equality, put it best when he said “Today we celebrate a journey, not a destination.

Around the world:

• A new polls shows opinions on same-sex marriage vary widely in the European Union. In Denmark, 82 percent of citizens support it, versus 11 percent in Romania. Overall, 44 percent of citizens in the EU believe it should be allowed throughout the union, with support highest in the north and lowest in the south and east. It seems likely that LGBT rights will play a part as the EU considers extending membership to countries further east.
• In May, China will ban adoptions by foreigh prospective parents who are unmarried, under 30, over 50, obese, or have had more than two divorces between them. Same-sex couples would fall into the “unmarried” category—though it is unclear what China will do with those couples who married in Canada, Spain, or Massachusetts.
• A lesbian couple in Ireland are appealing a High Court decision not to recognize their Canadian marriage.
• In Northern Ireland, the High Court has allowed a group of Christian organizations to challenge new legislation banning discrimination against gay and lesbian people in the provision of goods and services.
• A court in Sweden has denied adoption rights to two women who have legal partnerships with the children’s biological mothers. Swedish courts have previously allowed lesbians to adopt their partners’ biological children. In this case, however, they claim that by going through donor insemination in Denmark, where donor anonymity is guaranteed, the couples are trying to gain Swedish rights while avoiding its law that children should be able to identify their biological parents.(Thanks to PageOneQ.)

Last Harry Potter Title Revealed

Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling has revealed the title of her seventh and presumed final Harry Potter novel. She’s buried the answer at jkrowling.com, where you can click several “secret” links and solve a hangman puzzle to find the answer. (Yahoo! News has the solution, as well as the title, if you don’t want to take the time.) There’s no publication date set, and Amazon.com isn’t taking pre-orders yet, but you can get on an e-mail list to be notified when it is available.

Though there’s nothing remotely hinting at same-sex relationships in the Harry Potter books (how realistic is that at a boarding school, I ask you?), I think the series’ themes of being an outcast and self-discovery resonate with many in the LGBT community. I’ve loved the books since they first appeared (and being the purist that I am, make a point of getting the UK editions, rather than the Americanized ones). I’m not sure what I’m looking forward to more: the publication of the last volume, or my son being old enough to read them for himself.

Lesbian Social-Network War Heats Up

Two days after L Word producer Ilene Chaiken announced the creation of OurChart.com, a new social network for lesbians, Olivia Cruises & Resorts announces “the all new online destination for lesbians . . . the new Olivia.com, where you’ll meet other lesbians online, make connections with friends, share stories, and network with other like-minded lesbian professionals.”

My sense is that OurChart’s announcement caught Olivia off guard. Although Olivia hinted at a new site in previous communications, they really don’t have anything new today except a splash page and a way to sign up to be part of the new site when it launches. (This is as much as OurChart has rolled out at this point as well.)

In reality, I hope this doesn’t turn into a battle for lesbian minds and marketing dollars. I would guess that the two sites will target somewhat different audiences: Olivia, as it indicates, will attract slightly older, professional women, in keeping with its current customer base, and OurChart will skew a bit younger, a la My Space. I also think that two entrants into the lesbian-social-network space legitimizes it even more than a single one would. I hope this attracts advertisers who finally realize not only that the LGBT market is worthwhile ($641 billion worth), but that we gals have different interests, attitudes, and needs than our male counterparts. I wish them both well.

The Government Wants Your Input on the Family and Medical Leave Act

The U. S. Department of Labor (DOL) has published a “request for information from the public” on the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). It “invites interested parties having knowledge of, or experience with, the FMLA to submit comments and welcomes any pertinent information that will provide a basis for ascertaining the effectiveness of the current implementing regulations and the Department’s administration of the Act.”

Elizabeth at Half Changed World has written more about the DOL’s request, noting that the DOL “lists a range of topics on which they are particularly soliciting feedback, including the definitions of an eligible employee, a ’serious health condition’ and a ‘day,’ the interaction between paid leave and unpaid FMLA leave, the medical certification procedures, and the impact of FMLA on productivity, morale, and retention.”

For LGBT employees, the issue may not be so much the “definition of an eligible employee,” but rather the “definition of a family member.” Employers are not obligated to give an employee FMLA leave for the birth of her child, if it is her same-sex partner carrying the child. Same goes for adoption if the state does not allow second-parent adoptions and it is the employee’s partner who is adopting. And if the employee’s partner is lying in the hospital dying of cancer? Too bad. Thankfully, many corporations are choosing to give LGBT employees leave that is equivalent to the federal rights, but many others still don’t.

Let the DOL know what you think about this and any other matters pertaining to FMLA. Keep in mind that the DOL itself can’t rescind the Defense of Marriage Act—but a revision of FMLA may be a way to try and extend our rights through another channel. (Not that we should stop fighting for marriage equality; we just shouldn’t wait for it.) Yes, the ultra-right won’t go for this, either, but maybe enough folks in the middle will agree that we deserve it (“just don’t call it marriage”) that we can make some headway. You think I’ve been hitting the eggnog already? I agree that legalizing FMLA leave for same-sex couples is a long shot. In August, however, President Bush signed the Pension Protection Act that extended important financial protections to same-sex couples as well as other Americans, so I don’t think it’s out of the question.

As Elizabeth notes, the DOL document is dense, but what really matters are your personal stories and experiences with FMLA. You can submit comments via e-mail to whdcomments@dol.gov. Fax and postal-mail information is at the DOL link above.

(Thanks to Sandra, who brought this to my attention through the Carnival of Feminists.)

Reminder: Carnival of Bent Attractions

A reminder that I will be hosting the January Carnival of Bent Attractions here at Mombian. This blog carnival is published monthly and is made up of submitted posts on topics of interest to the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, trans and queer communities—not just LGBTQ parenting topics, though those are welcome. If you are interested in submitting a post, please read the guidelines and submit all posts using the submission form at Blog Carnival. Entries are due by January 1, 2007, and the Carnival will appear here on January 10.

Thanks to Maria at Daily Dose of Queer for organizing the overall Carnival.

Powdered-Sugar Hack

A quick hack for those of you making holiday cookies, cakes, or gingerbread houses: Use a tea ball to dust powdered sugar on top of your treats. It’s neater than doing so with an open-topped sieve or sifter, especially if kids are involved.

What does this have to do with lesbian moms? Guess it depends on how you decorate your gingerbread people.

Toys that Can Damage Kids’ Hearing

As we wend our way through prime toy season, it’s worth remembering that many sound-enabled toys can permanently damage children’s hearing. The Sight & Hearing Association in the U. S. reminds us that “Because of a child’s shorter arm span, toys are often potentially more dangerous to hearing because children hold them closer to their ears.” While there is an acoustics standard for toys, manufacturers are not required to comply with the standard.

To help parents make smart choices, the Association has published their annual Noisy Toy List, which includes The Wiggles Wiggly Jukebox, the Dora the Explorer Talking Vamanos Van, and The Home Depot Light & Sound Air Wrench. Deafness Research UK also found dangerous noise levels in many toys, noting “The most dangerous toys by far were found to be toy guns.” One more reason not to buy fake firearms for your kids.

I’ve found that putting clear packing tape over the speakers of toys may help muffle the sound. Lifehacker also has tips on how to disable toy speakers with a little internal surgery involving a screwdriver and wire cutters.

Ilene Chaiken Launches Social Network for Lesbians and Friends

Ilene Chaiken, executive producer of The L Word, will be launching a new social network “for lesbians and their friends” this January, in conjunction with the fourth season of the show. A sort of My Space for lesbians, OurChart.com will feature original as well as user-generated content, along with exclusive material from The L Word. Actors Jennifer Beals, Katherine Moennig, and Leisha Hailey “will also contribute to the site by developing content for their fans that reflect their personal interests.”

Hilary Rosen, former head of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), will serve as president of OurChart. Rosen is also the partner of sometime HRC executive director Elizabeth Birch, and served as interim director herself for a short time.

I know “OurChart” refers to the whiteboard diagram of interconnected relationships maintained by Leisha Hailey’s character Alice. Is it just me, though, or does the name make any of you other assisted-reproduction moms think of things ovulatory?