Comments on: New Jersey Ruling Solves Birth Certificate Question, but Raises More

By: Meredyth

Meredyth — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:30:13 +0000

My partner and I were married in MA and are domestic partners in NYC, but we still went through 2nd parent adoption in NY as we were told that it was the only way to really protect all of us. I’m about to start TTC our 2nd child- I’ll carry again- but this time it will be my partner’s egg. According to our RE and our attorney, my partner will still need to adopt the baby because regardless of whether or not she signs anything [maintaining or signing away rights] NY state does not recognize surragacy- instead, they view it as a donation and legally the baby belongs to the gestational mother.

From what I understand, until the world really changes, nothing is as secure as 2nd parent adoption.

Just my 2 cents

By: Dana

Dana — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 04:37:39 +0000

That’s a good question, and you should ask a lawyer to be sure. My partner and I did the same thing, and had to get a court order or only she (gestational mom) would be legal. That was prior to NJ recognizing two lesbian moms at once as a matter of course, and prior to civil unions, so I’m not sure what the current situation is.

FYI, the National Center for Lesbian Rights recommends that even if the state recognizes you, you get an adoption or court order anyway, to avoid possible problems when traveling out of state. Apparently, this is more widely recognized than a birth certificate.

By: A

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 04:17:39 +0000

My partner and I are beginning the process. We live in NJ but have not registered for domestic partnership, and due to other legal complications (DOMA without getting into too many details) and we do not plan on doing so until it would be recognized at the federal level. One of us will be the genetic-mom with the other the birth mom using an anonymous sperm donor. If we both fail to sign away our parentage rights during the egg-donation and biological-surrogacy, aren’t we both legal and biological parents regardless of the legal standing of our relationship???

By: D

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 21:04:32 +0000

Oh, that’s a good question. I have no idea how you’d go about that, but a lawyer seems like the right first step.

By: Exiled to Canada

Exiled to Canada — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:51:53 +0000

Here’s a conundrum for ya. We are hoping to have baby #2 here in Canada, where we are legally married and I will be on the birth certificate. Because of that, I don’t know that it’s possible to get a decree of parentage of any sort up here because it’s not necessary. Sooo, we’ll need to get it in the US but I have no idea where. I suppose we’ll need to call a lawyer when the time comes, sigh.