New Jersey Supreme Court Says Same-Sex Relationships Must Be Recognized; Name Is Left to Legislature

Breaking News:

The New Jersey Supreme Court has just ruled that same-sex couples must be given the same relationship recognition as opposite-sex couples. They dodged the issue of “marriage,” however, ruling that it is up to the state legislature to determine what to call the relationships:

Denying committed same-sex couples the financial and social benefits and privileges given to their married heterosexual counterparts bears no substantial relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose. The Court holds that under the equal protection guarantee of Article I, Paragraph 1 of the New Jersey Constitution, committed samesex couples must be afforded on equal terms the same rights and benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex couples under the civil marriage statutes. The name to be given to the statutory scheme that provides full rights and benefits to samesex couples, whether marriage or some other term, is a matter left to the democratic process.

More details to follow. . . .

Going into the Closet

The first in what will hopefully be a short-lived series on our house selling and buying experience:

Tip #1 for keeping a house clean for buyers yet tolerable for pre-schoolers: Buckets. Lots of buckets. I favor the 35-pound cat-litter pails from our local warehouse store. (In truth, I’d been saving the empties for a while without knowing exactly what to do with them.) Sort out all your child’s toys into the buckets and stash in a closet. We’re using the bottom of our kitchen pantry since the kitchen is where most of the daily play occurs. You can take out a bucket at a time and quickly throw things back in if a Realtor calls with a prospective buyer.

We even took his precious Thomas train set and put it into a bucket. The train table went into the basement for the duration, but we kept a train play mat rolled up in the pantry. It’s easy to set up a track layout on the mat and break it down in a jiffy.

A few things don’t fit into the buckets. We have a temporary fire station set up in the bottom of our coat closet, with two hook-and-ladders and a pumper truck. So far, our son doesn’t seem to mind the rearrangement too much, and in fact seems to enjoy rediscovering his “hidden” toys. Let’s hope we sell the house before the excitement wears off.

New Jersey Marriage Decision at 3:00 p.m. Tomorrow

The New Jersey Supreme Court says it expects to release a decision on Mark Lewis, et al. v. Gwendolyn L. Harris, et al., aka the same-sex marriage case, tomorrow, October 25th, at 3:00 p.m. Eastern.

Regardless of the outcome, Garden State Equality will hold a statewide rally for marriage equality Wednesday night at 7:00 pm, Unitarian Church of Montclair, 67 Church Street, downtown Montclair, NJ. They wrote in an e-mail to supporters:

Right now please call as many people as you can, and please forward this e-mail to every New Jersey resident whose e-mail you have, to get them to Wednesday night’s 7:00 pm rally.

This e-mail must spread like instant wildfire to get people to Wednesday night’s 7:oo pm rally on such short notice.

COME TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT’S 7:00 pm RALLY WHETHER OUR SIDE WINS OR LOSES THE CASE. Should our side win, you’ll tell the State Legislature to leave the decision alone. Should our side lose, you’ll tell the State Legislature to give us marriage equality by passing a bill.

I’ll keep you updated as events transpire.

New Jersey Marriage Decision: Will They or Won’t They?

The New York Times has a lengthy article on the maybe-soon, maybe-not New Jersey same-sex marriage decision. (Registration required for NYT site.) For long, many have said the ruling will come before Chief Justice Deborah T. Poritz’s retirement on October 25. Now, some say it may come after the State Senate’s scheduled vote to confirm the new chief justice next Monday. Others think it will be delayed until after elections (November 7) so that a ruling in favor of same-sex marriage would not galvanize conservatives against Democrats.

Steven Goldstein, chair of the advocacy group Garden State Equality, comments, “Most of us in the gay community have no fingernails left.” Hmm. Could be an advantage for us gals.

If the decision goes in our favor, it will be a tremendous victory, especially after same-sex-marriage defeats in New York and Washington. Let’s keep things in perspective, though. This still wouldn’t give us Federal benefits like a deceased spouse’s Social Security, Congressional pension, or veterans’ benefits. As a stay-at-home mom, I still wouldn’t be able to contribute to an IRA like I could if I had a legal, employed spouse. I’d still be limited in what states I could move to without losing my marital status.

Tactically, gaining marriage rights state by state may be the best approach. We’d likely lose any federal ruling at this point. We have to see the state battles as the first phase of a much longer process, however, one that encompasses federal recognition for same-sex marriage and even other forms of relationships. We must celebrate every victory, regroup after every defeat, and never rest on our laurels.

Family Pride Launches New Web Site

The Family Pride Coalition has launched a new (and long overdue) Web site, and it’s a vast improvement over the previous version. The design is clearer and more attractive, and it’s easier to navigate to what one wants. The new site includes:

• A handy calendar of upcoming events;
• A photo gallery of LGBT families (submissions welcome);
• An action center for helping in the fight for equality;
• An Allies section for friends, families, and neighbors;
• A useful page of Stats and Facts that I know I will use in the future. Thanks for compiling this so I don’t have to look up numbers all around the Web every time I need them.
• A section for donations;
• A directory of LGBT family groups around the U. S.;
• A Pen Pals feature to match up LGBT parents, youth with LGBT parents, or allies of LGBT families. I’ve been reading Abigail Garner’s blog long enough to ask, though: What about adult children of LGBT parents? As Abigail has often said, many people with LGBT parents consider themselves to be an integral part of the LGBT community, not “allies,” which implies supportive but distinct.

The Logos and Photos page of the site unfortunately misspells the name of Cheryl Jacques, the spouse of Family Pride Executive Director Jennifer Chrisler (and former director of HRC), as “Cheryl Jacqyes.” (Not that I haven’t made typos myself, but this seems an egregious one.) Aside from that, this is a worthy upgrade that should enable Family Pride to communicate better with LGBT families and supporters, and help fulfill their mission of “Love. Justice. Family. Equality.”

Androgynous Bristle Blocks

Is it just me, or does the supposed “father” in this pair of Bristle Blocks figures look androgynous enough to make this a lesbian couple? Most toys that include family figures include opposite-sex parents. It’s nice to find one that, however unintentionally, works for my family. (OK, I don’t think either of us would ever be caught dead in that dress, but still, the pair is a step in the right direction.)

For those who don’t know: Bristle Blocks (aka Krinkles) are a fun construction alternative to Legos, Mega Blocks, and the like. Their soft bristles make them stick together and come apart easily, for transformation into the usual array of houses, trains, cars, and space stations. My three-year-old loves them. (They’re not recommended for those under three, because of the small size of some of the pieces.)

IVF Pioneer Dies

I’d never heard of Mason Andrews before reading of his death this past week, but without him, my son might not exist. No, he’s not our sperm donor—he’s the doctor who performed the first in vitro fertilization in the U. S. Although conservative activists tried to stop him from attempting the procedure, his privately funded clinic was able to proceed while other physicians and hospitals dependent on federal funding waited for approval from the government. Dr. Andrews also served on the City Council and as mayor of Norfolk, Virginia, leading a revival of the city’s downtown. It’s impressive when a person can not only help bring children into the world, but also work to make it a better place for them to live.

I know nothing more about Dr. Andrews or his politics, but will spare him a moment in my thoughts today. Without his perseverance, many people, including my partner and I, would not have the children they so desired.

Workout Picked Up for Second Season

The Internet is awash with lesbian celebrity news right now. AfterEllen.com reports that Bravo has picked up a second season of Workout, starring lesbian fitness trainer Jackie Warner. Filming starts in November; no word yet on when it will air.

Because it’s the weekend, here’s a fun and frivolous question to comment on: If you won a one-hour workout (sports workout; this is a family site) with one of the following out lesbian athletes, who would you choose, and why?

• Rosie Jones (golf)
• Billie Jean King (tennis)
• Amelié Mauresmo (tennis)
• Martina Navratilova (tennis)
• Sheryl Swoopes (basketball)
• Michelle Van Gorp (basketball)
• Jackie Warner (fitness)
• Sue Wicks (basketball)

Write-ins welcome. For myself, I’d have to choose Martina, since she’s always been a hero of mine. Then again, because I was a competitive fencer for years, I might also choose the lesser-known Jana Angelakis, a two-time Olympic fencer who now runs the PEx fitness center in New York.

Melissa and Tammy Have Twins

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels have announced the birth of their twins, son Miller Steven and daughter Johnnie Rose. Tammy gave birth to them last Tuesday, and according to Melissa’s Web site, both she and the babies are in excellent health. The couple also issued the statement: “The creation of life brings about immeasurable love, and pours hope into the future . . . The joy will help carry us through our upcoming sleepless nights.” Congratulations to the whole family!

Weekly Political Roundup

• The Colorado Court of Appeals reversed a lower court ruling and said the partner of a man who died in 2004 may inherit his estate, even though the man’s relatives contested the validity of his will.
• Lambda Legal argued that the U. S. Court of Appeals should affirm a lower court ruling that Oklahoma’s anti-gay Adoption Invalidation Law is unconstitutional. The law, one of the most restrictive in the country, said Oklahoma could not recognize an adoption by same-sex parents, even if done legally in another state or foreign jurisdiction. It was struck down by the lower court last May.
• Gerry Studds, the first openly gay member of Congress, died this week. Although Studds and his partner married legally in Massachusetts, Studds’ spouse will not receive the congressman’s estimated $114,337 annual pension because the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act bars the federal government from recognizing their marriage.
• Current Massachusetts Governor and presumed presidential candidate Mitt Romney spoke last weekend at an event organized by the anti-LGBT Family Research Council. Romney said: “The price of same-sex marriage is paid by the children. What [the judges] ignored is that marriage is not primarily about adults; marriage is about the nurturing and development of children. . . . Every child deserves a mother and a father.” I’d like to think he’s just lost the vote of every child-free opposite-sex couple.

This week also brought out a few pieces of relevant research:

• The legalization of same-sex marriage would have a positive effect on the economy, according to a study issued by the UCLA Law School’s Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy. (Full text here (PDF link).) If every state legalized it, it would generate $2 billion for the wedding industry alone.

  The report also concluded that marriage equality would lead to a net gain for state and federal government budgets, and would reduce the number of uninsured people in the U. S., easing healthcare costs for the government and employers. It would also make it easier for businesses to transfer employees and create consistent benefits and policies now that some jurisdictions are recognizing same-sex relationships.

  It occurs to me that organizations such as MomsRising and Families USA, which are fighting for affordable, flexible healthcare and parental benefits (among other things), could be more active in supporting same-sex relationship recognition. They are trying to present healthcare issues and parents’ rights as non-partisan, but in doing so, they seem to be avoiding the highly partisan issue of whether LGBT families deserve the same rights as everyone else. We’re the 800-pound gorilla in the room. A big, pink gorilla.

• The Human Rights Campaign has published its 2006 Congressional Scorecard, which “rates members of Congress on important votes and their support of critical legislation taken during the 109th legislative session.”