Six gay male penguins at a zoo in Germany have been rejecting advances of females sent to mate with them. Gay rights groups were apparently upset when the females were introduced, but the zoo claims they are simply trying to form at least one fertile couple and a baby, not to pry the male penguins from their partnerships.

Regardless, I continue to laugh at the conservative groups claiming that penguins, as exemplified in March of the Penguins, are an example of traditional family values. Still, March of the Penguins is a great film, despite its accolades from the right. Stunning photography, and birds that are both regal and adorable. Suitable for children old enough to handle a few scenes of (not too gory) animal death.

I happened to catch NPR’s Morning Edition today, something that happens only rarely when my son is preoccupied and doesn’t notice that I haven’t put on one of his Sesame Street or Music Together CDs. There was a piece about research on fetal cells. Scientists now believe that these cells linger in a bio-mom’s body for decades. They are trying to determine whether the cells have any long-term effect, good or bad, or simply exist without any discernable impact. The jury is still out, but it’s interesting work, nonetheless, and will hopefully add to our picture of women’s health.

The American Academy of Pediatrics yesterday released updated guidelines on calcium intake for children. The AAP reemphasizes that calcium during childhood and adolescence determines peak bone mass development, which may help reduce the risk of fractures and osteoporosis later. They recommend three age-appropriate servings of dairy products per day (four for adolescents), preferably low-fat dairy products (though they also suggest alternatives for the lactose intolerant). They caution, though, that infants under 12 months should not have whole milk, although after six months they can try yogurt and cheese.

Finally, they claim that children and adolescents’ average calcium intake is well below adequate levels. This is a family issue, they advise, and recommend adequate intake for all family members.

What do these two things have in common? Risk to children. A new study in the journal Pediatrics determined that increased time watching television means decreased time interacting with parents and siblings and playing creatively. For older children, it also means less time spent on homework. The researchers claim this is the first evidence to support the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) television guidelines for children: no television for children under two and less than two hours for children over two.

And from the “should be obvious, but in case not” department: Researchers at the New York University School of Medicine report that home paper shredders pose a risk of serious injuries to toddlers and pets. They recommend keeping them unplugged and out of children’s reach.

Researchers at Florida State and Vanderbilt Universities claim parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults without children. More surprisingly, this does not change when the kids leave home, and may in fact increase. Parents who do not have custody of their minor children may also experience greater depression than those who do.

Parents’ depression doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy being parents, the researchers explain, but that community support and help from extended family is often lacking in the U. S., making parenting a more emotionally draining experience. They hope their study will motivate parents to seek greater social support.

Let’s pause here a moment and reflect on the many LGBT parents who have been rejected by their families or are not out in their communities. The above study thus implies LGBT parents as a group face an even harder struggle against the forces that cause depression. Add that to evidence that LGBT people in general have higher rates of certain mental problems, including depression and anxiety, which may be fueled by discrimination, and the challenge for LGBT parents is daunting. That’s not good for either us or our kids. I am not by any means saying that all LGBT parents are or will become depressed–but simply that the risk is higher, not because of being LGBT, per se, but because of societal pressures and biases. Yet another argument for acceptance, openness, and equal rights.

Pioneering feminist author and one of the founders of NOW, Betty Friedan, died yesterday at the age of 85.

I was a feminist before I (knew I) was a lesbian. I cannot claim, however, that Friedan’s seminal work, The Feminine Mystique influenced me directly. By the time I was old enough to read it, it seemed somewhat dated. I knew I wasn’t going to settle down in suburbia and find total fulfillment in a husband and kids, and I didn’t need Friedan to tell me that. Still, the mere fact that I was able to make that choice is testament to the indirect influence of Friedan’s work, which helped motivate a generation of early feminists to fight for women’s rights and opportunities.

At the same time, Friedan was well known for her opposition to “radical lesbians” and her desire to exclude them from the feminist movement, concerned people would equate feminism with lesbian extremism. She seems to have tempered her views with time, however, saying in 1977, “I believe that we must help the women who are lesbians be protected in their own civil rights.”

Even in the late 90’s, though, she stated, “For a great many women, choosing motherhood makes motherhood itself a liberating choice,” but noted this should not cause conflict with “other feminists who are maybe more austere, or choose to seek their partners among other women.” Lesbian motherhood, then, was not on her radar screen.

This makes me think. I’m staying home to raise my son while my partner works. Have I given in to society’s conventional views about a woman’s place, despite the work of Friedan and other early feminists? Or am I taking the traditional role Friedan inveighed against and subverting it in a way even she struggled to come to terms with, by merging it with my identity as a lesbian?

I prefer to believe the latter. I know, though, that if in being a lesbian mom I am a far cry from anything Friedan might have imagined, especially in the early 1960’s, I am still the beneficiary of much of her work. When my son is in school full-time and I return to work, I will respond to a gender-neutral job announcement and expect pay equivalent to that of my male colleagues. That is in large part the result of Friedan’s leadership at NOW.

I will then go home to my partner and son, grateful that the feminist movement itself has become more inclusive, and now fights to secure rights for lesbians as well as straight women. Yet in the end, to recognize the limits of Friedan’s work is not to deny the vast good she also did.

There’s been a lot in the media recently about how boys are struggling in the U. S. educational system. Newsweek ran a cover story in its January 30 issue titled “The Trouble With Boys,” and PBS this month aired the documentary “Raising Cain: Boys in Focus,” based on the book of the same name. Some of you may recall, however, that the concern not so long ago was on girls’ challenges in education. (See, for example, the American Association of University Women’s report, “How Schools Shortchange Girls“, their follow up, “Gender Gaps: Where Schools Still Fail Our Children,” and “Math, Science, and Girls: Can We Close the Gender Gap?” from the National Network for Child Care.)

What’s going on here? Has there really been an about-face in terms of the gender being favored in our schools? Read more »

Xena and Gabrielle long lived in an aura of mystery, often baffling those who dealt with them. (Not least the legions of fans wondering if the two of them were more than just friends.) The same is true of two distant objects in the solar system, nicknamed—you guessed it—Xena and Gabrielle. Scientists recently confirmed that the larger one, UB313 (aka “Xena”) is bigger than Pluto, adding fuel to the controversy among astronomers over what really constitutes a planet. Should Xena and its moon, Gabrielle, count as a tenth planet beyond the historical nine? If not, should Pluto be demoted?

The only downside to declaring Xena and Gabrielle a full planetary system is that they would then be given new monikers, names of gods from Greek classical mythology. If we can’t have Xena, my vote is for “Athena,” the goddess of wisdom, crafts, strategy, and war. That’s at least close. For the moon, the obvious choice is then “Nike,” goddess of victory and Athena’s constant companion. She was often depicted carrying a staff, like Gabrielle.

This just in. . . . Showtime today announced that it was renewing The L Word for a fourth season, due to premiere in 2007.

My partner and I just booked ourselves on Olivia’s Grand Caribbean Cruise. This is our second trip with them, even though we’ve never considered ourselves “cruise people.” We typically prefer a do-it-ourselves vacation where we can either mingle with the natives or brave the wilds of nature. Since having a child, though, our time to plan and prepare has vanished, and since moving to LGBT-free suburbia, our desire to spend time with other lesbians has grown. Hence Olivia. Our last trip was indeed blissful–everything was taken care of, food was constant, the entertainment was great (Melissa!), and the company terrific. I also poured a quart of SPF-45 on myself every day and managed to avoid sunburn.

We’re definitely looking forward to this year’s voyage. Martina and Whoopi will be among the celebrities on board. (If you need last names, you shouldn’t be on this site.) Our son will be staying with my folks for the week. It’s hard being away from him, of course, but he loves visiting Grandma and Grandpa, they love taking care of him, and we always come back refreshed and reinvigorated. It’s a good preventative for parenting burn-out.

Any other readers out there who are going on the cruise? If so, drop me a note. Maybe we can plan a mom (and soon-to-be and prospective-mom) get-together.

Speaking of travel, Steve over at Adamant Sun points out that the Family Travel Forum has a section for LGBT families, with a variety of travel articles and resources. (You can read headlines and summaries for free, but must pay a small fee to register and have access to the full content.) Worth a peek if you’re looking for LGBT-friendly travel tips and/or destination ideas.