Try Some Art: Dale Moses

I’ve just put up a banner to promote the work of Dale Moses, a gay, Dallas-based artist. I like his work a lot. With bold colors and simple shapes, it has appeal for both adults and children, and hopefully for many Mombian readers and their families. Moses paints dogs, cats, rubber duckies, crayons, shoes, tops, fruit, flowers, and other everyday objects with a sense of fun and whimsy that never strays into “cutesy.” He sees “diversity” as fundamental to his eclectic style.

Donald Trump has purchased Moses’ work for his developments, but Moses’ limited-edition Giclée prints are actually very affordable to us mere mortals. I think they’d make thoughtful, unique baby gifts, since they’re the kind of images that appeal from infancy to adulthood. They’d be equally appropriate as graduation, anniversary, or holiday presents. Buy one for yourself or a friend. (Full disclosure: I do get a percentage of Moses Art sales made through Mombian, but I wouldn’t sell it if I didn’t like it.)

How to Make a Decision: Family Creation and Other Major Choices

I’m occasionally asked, usually by lesbian friends considering pregnancy, how my partner and I chose our sperm donor. Truth be told, we didn’t use any particular methodology other than agreeing on key factors (health above all), starting with a broad list, and refining, refining, refining. With most sperm banks, you can get free, short profiles of the donors, and pay for more extensive ones, which we did once we got the list down to where this was a reasonable financial burden. After that? Well, I seem to remember a lot of long discussions, paper sorted in piles on the floor, and hoping the cat would offer his opinion by sitting on his profile of preference. (He didn’t, which perhaps explains his indifference to the now-toddling result of our efforts.)

In today’s Lifehacker blog, however, editor Gina Trapani has written a very useful article on Four Ways to Make a Big Decision. Some of you may find it helpful if you are trying to decide on a sperm donor, choose among family creation methods, or make other important life choices. Trapani offers three mathematically-based ways of analyzing options. What I like about her approach, though, is that she knows its limits. Her fourth way of making a decision is to Trust Your Gut. Use the numbers to guide but not rule you.

Get Your Tits Squeezed Today: National Mammography Day

October 21 is National Mammography Day.

To find a facility in your area, please call:

• American Cancer Society (800) 227-2345
• National Cancer Institute (800) 4-CANCER

Do it for yourself. Do it for your partner. Do it for your kids.

Essential Tool: A Headlamp

Enough politics for a while. Here’s another in my ongoing series of Essential Tools: a camping headlamp. Even if the closest you’ve been to camping is sitting on your back porch with a beer, one of these lightweight lamps can be indispensable when you’re working behind a bookshelf, under a cabinet, or in the corner of the attic. It’s also useful for taking out the garbage, finding your keys under the car, or when the power goes out and you need two hands to hold a child. (Be careful not to shine it in her/his eyes.)

Lambda Families of NJ 5th Biennial GLBT Family Conference

This coming Saturday, October 22, Lambda Families of NJ is hosting their 5th Biennial GLBT Family Conference at Montclair State College. It is a chance both to learn and socialize with other LGBT-headed families. There are workshops for parents, those planning on becoming parents, kids 8 to 11 years old, and kids 12 and over. (Families with children 1 to 7 years old can take advantage of on-site professional childcare.) Workshop topics include legal and financial planning, strategies for working with schools , adoption, assisted reproduction, surrogacy, the current political environment in NJ, explaining how your family was created, general parenting skills, a multiracial-families panel, a panel of teens from lesbian- and gay-parented families, and more. Joan Garry, former Executive Director of GLAAD, is giving the keynote address.

This looks to be fun, interesting, and informative. If you’re in the greater NJ/NY area, you may want to make time to attend. If you’re not, you can at least be pleased that such events are taking place.

Same-Sex Marriage Suits and DP Insurance in New York

The Albany, New York regional state appellate court heard arguments Monday in three same-sex marriage suits, including one challenging the constitutionality of New York state marriage law. Regardless of the outcome, however, New York’s top court, the Court of Appeals, will ultimately give the final ruling on same-sex marriage. (Is it just me, or does the phrase “same-sex marriage suits” conjure up images of two matching white silk numbers with nice lapels?)

In more immediate good news from the Empire State, Mayor Bloomberg has convinced four health insurance companies to offer domestic partner health insurance coverage to small businesses in New York City. Previously, businesses with fewer than fifty employees could not provide domestic partner health coverage even if they wanted to. This does not mean that small businesses must offer such coverage, only that they can. There is, however, a measure before the state legislature that would require all insurers providing family health insurance coverage to offer domestic partner coverage.

Finally, proving that politics is always complicated, the Empire State Pride Agenda, the state’s leading LGBT-rights group, has endorsed Fernando Ferrer in the upcoming mayoral election, saying Mayor Bloomberg falls short in support of a number of other LGBT issues, including same-sex marriage.

New Jersey Children of LGBT Parents Speak Out

Last Sunday, Garden State Equality organized “Let My Parents Marry,” a town-hall meeting where children of LGBT parents, and supportive children of straight parents, spoke in favor of same-sex marriage. While the audience was apparently appreciative, let’s hope the message reaches out to those who need to hear it.

South Asia Earthquake

Over 40,000 dead. Over 60,000 injured. 3.3 million homeless, with winter fast approaching.

The South Asia earthquake is the third major natural disaster in the past twelve months, following Hurricane Katrina and the Indian Ocean tsunami, and as such, risks facing a world tired of donating, airlifting, and rebuilding. As a mother, I cannot read stories of entire schools wiped out, a generation lost, and many more injured or orpahed, without feeling a pang and going to check on my own sleeping son. I am not a superstitious person, but feel I have some karmic and human responsibility to give when something like this happens.

If your personal circumstances allow, please consider a donation to the organization of your choice. You may want to consider giving through the Rainbow World Fund, a “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and supportive-heterosexual humanitarian service agency.” 100% of your donations go towards helping the survivors, since RWF is an entirely volunteer-run organization. Why donate through them? Doing so means your money is counted as LGBT-and-allies money, raising our community’s visibility and showing us as caring members of the larger world community.

The earthquake has prompted small signs of cooperation among traditional rivals–India and Pakistan, the U. S. and Iran. We know enough to be compassionate in the face of disaster. Let us hope we learn to do so even when the skies are clear and the earth is calm.

Mombian T-Shirts, Hats, and More

Hot off the presses: Mombian t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, bags, and bumper stickers emblazoned with the line “We Are Both the Real Mom” and the Mombian URL. (Thanks to Erica for the design.)

Children of Same-Sex Parents Are Well-Adjusted

From the “But We Knew This” department:

Research presented at the American Academy of Pediatrics Conference and Exhibition last week concluded there are no overall difference in self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional problems between children of same-sex parents and children of opposite-sex parents. Ellen C. Perrin, professor of pediatrics at Tufts University School of Medicine, who presented the work, compiled data from 15 studies on more than 500 children.

While most of the studies emphasized the lack of differences between children of same-sex and opposite-sex parents, some actually found positive differences in lesbian homes. Lesbian couples tend to share household responsibilities more evenly, and their children “are less aggressive, more nurturing to peers, more tolerant of diversity, and more inclined to play with both boy’s and girl’s toys.” A more equal division of labor seems to help produce more well-adjusted children, Perrin concludes. (I’ll have to remember that next time it’s my sweetie’s turn to take out the garbage.)