Comments on: How to Respond When Meeting Lesbian Moms

By: Brittney

Brittney — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:10:56 +0000

this was very helpful. my partner and I are planning to have a baby we want to get pregnant four months from now ill carry the baby. I did need some advice… I have a 5year old son from a previous marriage (to a man) and I would like to either have him donate his sperm to us or were thinking about having her eggs placed in me and doing it that way…..also on the name topic I know I would be mama/mommie as that’s what my son calls me now and we don’t know what the new baby will call my partner……also my sons father is very active in his life (he has him 3 and a half days out the week and so do I ) and by the new baby not technically having a daddy around (well unless my ex gives his sperm) I wouldn’t want the new baby to feel like where’s my daddy…….I don’t know its really tough…….any advice would help……thanks

By: Deanna

Deanna — Fri, 08 May 2009 02:37:55 +0000

Back to the finding the “mom” names…..My partner just told me she would want our child to call her by her childhood nickname. It doesn’t sound anything like it would be a mother figure and actually sounds dis respectful to me. Am I horrile for trying to argue the topic? I feel very strong about it, but a little softened by the research I have done just now about the subject. I’m confused……

By: Colleen Newman, author of Near Mama's Heart

Colleen Newman, author of Near Mama's Heart — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 01:00:09 +0000

I find this conversation very helpful and I appreciate the information. Although I am married to a man (and Mama to two children), I feel very connected to lesbians/bisexual women.

I have family and friends who are in long term lesbian relationships; some with children and some not. In fact my Aunts will be having a marriage ceremony this October in NJ, where they live. YAY!

Since I have always felt this connectedness I have always been able to “know” when I see two Moms and their family but never knew exactly what to say. The reason I want to “say” anything at all is because I want to show my support and possibly gain friendships.

This post and commentary was helpful. Thank you!

By: Dana

Dana — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 22:13:55 +0000

One further point from a reader: Don’t assume that just because they are two women who are life partners and both moms to the same child,
they are lesbians. Bisexual women may choose to live and parent together, but not consider themselves lesbians.

By: Flo0Ky`ala* FriBBLe

Flo0Ky`ala* FriBBLe — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 13:58:27 +0000

How would I respond to meeting a lesbian mom? Like I would any parent regardless of their sexual orientation, with respect and kindness and a general curiosity of who they are on the inside and how they contribute their spirit on the outside.

I would love to know about their child, their experiences in parenting, maybe ask them opinions what they think of a certain dance school their child is attending or a new toy that is on the market. Pretty much a basic conversation between two parents who are just getting to know one another.

If I was to develope a closer relationship with someone then more personal questions may be asked if that is where the conversation is mutually going.

I understand there are obviously those who are not as open sighted to family’s that “appear out of the norm” and maybe for some asking questions right off may be their well intentioned way of understanding a lifestyle they are generally and respectfully interested in.

One can usually tell by the tone of such questions if it is indeed genuine and well intentioned from just plain rude and judgemental.

By: Mombian: Sustenance for Lesbian Moms » Blog Archive » Father, Mother, Butch, Femme, Parent

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 05:06:23 +0000

[...] This reminds me of what I wrote last fall on both “How to Respond When Meeting Lesbian Moms,” and how to influence the “unbiased but unknowing.” I love LesbianDad’s “docent” analogy, though. Not all of us want to take on this role, but for those of us who do, the term fits perfectly. [...]

By: Polly

Polly — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:44:13 +0000

First, thank you, Mombian moderator gal, for creating this list. So smart, so concise, so useful.

To open the parental naming door even further, I call myself Baba (a diminutive or outright name for father in many different languages), because variants on “mother,” in any language, didn’t quite get at the kind of parent I feel like I am. Which is part mama and part papa. I happen to be the “non-bio mom,” but who knows but whether butch biomoms may even feel thet same?

I feel like it’s a huge, open, ever-evolving topic. And one that also opens even wider as our kids get older and come up with their own names for us, at different times & for different reasons…

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 17:38:48 +0000

Because of my German heritage and because strangers will make reference to: “Mom”, “Mother”, or “Mommy”, we felt those would not work and were too interchangeable.

We chose “mama” and “mutti”. Mutti /moo-tee/ means Mommy in German and is the shortened word of Mutter which means mother.

By: Lindsy

Lindsy — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 08:32:44 +0000

maybe you and your partner could use your name or part of your names, like mommy ali or mama b for example. but whatever you choose, to begin with,dont worry. things will evolve and change on their own just like they would with a straight family. it will happen naturally

By: Alison

Alison — Sun, 06 Nov 2005 04:06:27 +0000

What are some other names that are often used for two moms. My Partner and I are getting
ready to start a family and are struggling with what we each will go by, and wonder
if momma or mommy were used what happens when they get older and those terms are outgrown